


Oversized Sweater

by moodring



Category: VIXX
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Panty Kink, Possessive Behavior, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-09-02 04:48:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 40,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8651632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodring/pseuds/moodring
Summary: [Ken x Nameless OFC] "I could never…” He traced a lone finger just beneath her chin, tilting her face up to look at him. Her eyes slowly opened, meeting the intense gaze he fixed on her then. “…enjoy seeing you in pain, which is why I didn’t want you to feel anything. That’s why, not him. No second chances. Promise me.”





	1. Obedience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes in life we love and we lose and the only thing we have left is our poetry.

NOTES: Even though Hyuk is listed, the story is mainly Ken x Reader. So, if you're reading this for Hyuk, it might not be worth it for you. This is my first VIXX-related story, so I'm a little nervous. I hope you all find it as amusing as I did whilst writing it. There are maybe three-four chapters written out so far. Please remember to leave feedback if you enjoy an author's writing.

* * *

 **PS:** This was not looked over, like, at all. There's probably tons of repeat words, misspellings, uhm...things that I'd kill myself over later, but I just do not care right now.

* * *

Oversized Sweaters

* * *

  
_'And I'll shiver like I used to,_  
_And I'll leave him just for you._ ' - **Lucy Rose**  
  
Chapter One: _Obedience_  
  
‘Friends,’ Sanghyuk said, breaking her heart into little pieces, just like he knew that it would. He could tell by the way her eyes downcast to the ground that she was going to cry. ‘That’s all I see for us right now.’  
  
_Right now…_ It was cruel of him to insinuate that perhaps there might be hope for her to have him in the future. _Right now_ was when she had wanted to be chosen. If there was even a sliver of feelings towards her, then he should act on them. _Right now_ was the moment he had lost any and all possibility of ever having her.  
  
_‘Look at me,’_ he demanded, voice harsh and deep with strain. The silence was loud in her ears, as each second ticked by slowly. The ground had become blurred by the tears in her eyes and she refused to let him see them fall.  
  
Her only response was to turn away, to _run_ with her purse clasped tightly in both hands. It was the only thing keeping her steady at that point. The heels she’d worn for what she had assumed would be their first date, clacked loudly down the deserted hallway. She didn’t get very far, when she found herself being pinned against the nearest surface by both her wrists.  
  
An annoyed looking Sanghyuk was leaned down to stare directly into her eyes. This time it was impossible to look away at anything else. The difference in height between them was nothing to write off. Hell, when it had come down to every member of VIXX, she was as small as an ant and it didn’t help that Sanghyuk was the tallest among them. She had to crane her neck just to get a proper look at him.  
  
She whispered as he started to suddenly close in the space between them, ‘S-Sanghyuk?’    
  
His body was a hard line against her own, keeping her still despite the fact that she was trembling. He smelled like leather and fabric softener. New tears streamed down her face when she closed her eyes and allowed him to invade all her senses. A warm kiss lingered against her cheek, before he trailed to the other side. His lips were chapped and rough wherever they roamed, slowly making their way to her mouth.  
  
She breathed in shakily, arms straining to wrap around him. He angled his face to deepen the kiss, a low growl coming from the back of his throat. His tongue was hot, as it parted her lips. He could taste the salt and sweetness, humming a sound of approval, as he pressed the full weight of his body against her.  
  
He had to bend down to slowly devour her lips from top to bottom, his tongue sweeping over every inch of her mouth, leaving her dizzy after awhile. She’d nearly forgotten the basic rule of breathing, stunned to have the man she'd wanted so badly to finally be touching her. His blunt nails dragged down from her wrists to the sides of her neck, certain that she wouldn’t pull away.  
  
And he could do his worst. He could see himself going back to her place and pressing her into the mattress. He’d take whatever he could get from her, as he always had whenever it pertained to women, old and young alike. After his last relationship left him broken, he’d been careless, but he didn’t want to hurt the girl in his arms now. He’d been more considerate on a level he hadn’t admitted to himself until just recently.  
  
She was pure. She was his do-over, his restart button.  
  
He opened his eyes, leaning back just far enough to take in the flush of her pale cheeks. Her breaths were uneven and it took a few moments for her to muster up enough courage to stare up at him. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest. He could feel it fluttering beneath his fingertips. His dark eyes narrowed at her accusingly, as he once again claimed her lips in a firm kiss.  
  
Hands tilted her face upwards, holding her captive. It would be a lie to say that she’d never made out with a guy before, but she couldn’t recall ever getting this turned on by it. Each stroke of Sanghyuk’s tongue was sinful, making the heat in her lower stomach unfurl. As if reading her thoughts, he pressed one of his long legs between her thighs.  
  
Her breathing hitched nervously, as she closed her hands into the fabric of his shirt, holding onto him tightly. Her head was swimming with both doubts and desires. She wanted him, yes, but he couldn’t be with her. He said so. He captured her bottom lip between his teeth, while simultaneously applying pressure against her core.  
  
“I want to hear all the pretty little sounds that you can make,” He murmured huskily, as his mouth trailed hot, wet kisses from her swollen mouth to the side of her neck.  
  
Her skin was a blank canvas, white and smooth like paper. The first tug of his teeth had her drawing in a breath, adjusting her arms around his broad shoulders. He licked over the bruise that was forming, soothing it briefly, before marking her again and again. The sharp pull of his lips mingled with the heated wetness coating along the line of her throat, caused her to shiver. And despite her efforts not to, for the sake of her dignity, and in fear of being embarrassed – she released gasps and involuntary moans of pleasure.  
  
“I want to feel you,” He whispered breathily against the sensitive shell of her ear, overcome with his own greed and arousal. “Not with my leg, but with my hands and my mouth. I want to tear screams from your lungs, until you’re sobbing and begging me for release. I want to be your first and your only.”  
  
“S-Sanghyuk…”  
  
He brought his forehead to hers, leaning against her softly. “Wait for me.”  
  
_Wait for me…_

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Three months later**

Waiting all this time for Sanghyuk, staying true to their shared promise. She hadn’t noticed how the time had passed her by, still somewhat content from their last encounter three months ago. He was always busy due to his career and the times when he did see her, they were never alone.   
  
Tonight she was out at a private club, which was not the sort of place where one would expect to find idols. It was a mutual friend’s birthday party. There was no way to get out of it, even if she wanted to so desperately escape the social event. She had classes and work the very next day. It was Hakyeon who finally convinced her, threatening her lovingly, while cracking the proverbial whip.  
  
She was seated at a table between Hongbin and Taekwoon. It was an unsettling arrangement, considering that neither of them felt much inclined to spark up conversation with her. The chatterboxes were sitting across from her, consisting of Jaehwan, Wonshik, and Hakyeon. Sanghyuk hadn’t arrived yet, making each moment that much more unbearable. It felt like she was holding her breath until then.  
  
The music was loud and borderline obnoxious and the stupor she’d soon fallen into had become visible on her face. Jaehwan flexed his arm out in the line of her vision. He could see that she was gone, staring into nothing until her vision blurred. His fingers snapped abruptly, snapping her out of it.   
  
Her eyes widened slightly, meeting the quizzical glance he’d fixed on her. It didn’t seem to waver in the least, even after she’d found something else to look at, like her untouched margarita. She could still feel him staring at her, skin hot where he was burning holes right through her. She shifted uncomfortably, cheeks aflame.  
  
Why was it so embarrassing?  
  
“Has anyone seen Hakyeon?” Wonshik teased, pretending to search around the immediate area. The leader slapped his arm, throwing every bit of sass that he could muster.  
  
“Wonshik, don’t you start with that shit.”  
  
What sounded like a butterfly whispering in her ear, made her turn towards Taekwoon’s direction. His voice was like a velvety flower, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. “You’re going to have to speak up.”  
  
He was blank faced, eyes blinking slowly at her, before giving a curt nod. “Mm.”  
  
Hell, now she had to decode his lingo. “Mm-Mm…?”  
  
He’d lost his patience, which wasn’t a very difficult task to achieve, but it was definitely one of the reasons why they’d never become closer in their friendship. He pointed to the latest text that her best friend ( _damn, go her_ ) had sent to him. It looked like they were in an argument, one of which had ended with her calling him a dickless bastard in English.  
  
Without Sanghyuk, she must be Taekwoon’s temporary go-to for English. How on earth could she possibly tell him what the message meant? Biting at the side of her lip, she knew that she couldn’t lie to him, not even a white lie, despite how tempting it was for all intents and purposes. Taekwoon’s temper was not something to be taken lightly.  
  
“’Kay, so, she basically, uh, said…” He was watching her lips move, following every syllable that formed when spoken. “…that you don’t have a dick and that you’re a bastard.”   
  
Jaehwan clapped, as if to rejoice in the statement. “I couldn’t have said it better myself and I have said it on multiple occasions. I guess the secret is out, Taekwoonie. Whatever you’re carrying around in your trousers remains dormant. It’s probably an eighteenth century ghost in that pocket.”  
  
The older man practically snarled in response, bearing his teeth as though that would somehow stop the antagonizer that was sitting across from him. Taekwoon’s chair scooted out almost violently, as he brought his phone up to his ear, and stormed away.  
  
“That’s not even when he hulks out,” Jaehwan said, stealing the chair that Taekwoon had just abandoned. He grabbed her margarita and finished it off without a single utterance on the topic. He motioned with the empty glass that he would need another. “You let the ice melt down into slop. It’s as vile as poison at this point.”  
  
She rolled her eyes at him, “I suppose I should thank you, then?”  
  
“You could, but I wouldn’t be much inclined to believe your sincerity if you’re going to use that tone.” He beamed a smile at her, infamously cute just like the rest of his shenanigans. He was wearing round prescription glasses, and a cap to cover his blonde hair. They’d just finished recording Dynamite and Jaehwan was exceptionally attractive with such a bright color on him, not that she’d ever admit it to him.  
  
No, not while there was an auburn haired God haunting her every waking moment. When Sanghyuk finally arrived he almost seemed disappointed to find her seated with the rest of his band members. A girl was behind him, resting her hands flat against his back. She waved meekly, as she introduced herself. It was quite rude, the whole situation.  
  
She was Korean, so automatically she was an equal, and easier for Sanghyuk to get on with. This woman was taller, thinner, and downright gorgeous. Her voice was soft and delicate, perhaps more than Taekwoon’s, encompassing everything that the girl believed she lacked.  
  
She felt like she was due an explanation, although what right did she have, really? It wasn’t as though they were dating. He’d made sure of that.    
  
Jaehwan steeled his eyes on the younger man, as did everyone else who knew the girl’s feelings for Sanghyuk. Wonshik cleared his throat uncomfortably, offering a nod of acknowledgment towards the woman who was clinging to their maknae. “Ah, yes. Nice to meet you.”  
  
Hakyeon gave a slow, disgusted look, before smoothing out his expression.  
  
Sanghyuk gestured to the only other female at the table, introducing her carefully. “This is my friend.” There it was again, like a nail driving through her chest. She could actually feel the air leaving her lungs in short, inaudible gasps.  
  
“I need to go,” she said to no one in particular, lightheaded and too emotional to sit through a night of pretending. “I have class in the morning.”  
  
The next margarita was placed down on the table. This time she was more than happy to tip it back with zero precaution. Jaehwan’s hand was on her arm, trying to lower the glass from her mouth.  
  
Sanghyuk pulled up a chair, watching the scene unfold in front of him like it was the most interesting thing he’d watched in a long while. He licked at his lips, grinning woofishly at her, “No sex, curfews, and now you can’t even handle a single drink. I come here with another woman and your reaction is to run away, as if someone will chase after you. Sorry, but that’s not my style, noona, and this is why we can’t work, you know. You’re an absolute prude and so, _so_ childish.”  
  
She finally looked at him, body trembling as it fought against the urge to cry. She wasn’t weak. She’d faced bigger bullies in her time, darker days. The last thing she was on this earth, was a goddamned child.  
  
“Oh, I was just saving you from the embarrassment, Sanghyuk.” She placed the glass down and stepped closer to him. The woman had her arm linked in his, leg crossed to rest along his thigh. “My last kindness is the valuable insight I’ve collected throughout my time knowing you. Here it is:  
  
You’re a coward, showing up with another girl to what, upset me? I was supposed to take the hint, then? I didn’t know that face to face conversations were an outdated method to express one’s feelings. As far as being a prude goes, you’re the walking example as to why I must be careful with whom I give my body to, since it’s clearly meaningless to some men. You call me a child? Go find a mirror, if you can take staring at yourself long enough.”  
  
He glared up at her, cheeks flushed in quiet anger. The hand around the woman’s shoulder closed tightly, until she gave a small sound of pain. He looked like a leopard ready to pounce, but his lips remained shut.  
  
Hakyeon’s hands closed into a single clap, before he covered his mouth in shock. He didn’t know whether to applaud her or beat some sense into his maknae. In the end, she’d handled herself and didn’t need any saving.  
  
Hongbin placed his money down on the table next to her drink, “I’m paying for you tonight.”   
  
She bowed quietly and exited the club without another word. The nights were cold and she didn’t bring a jacket with her. It really didn't matter, since the alcohol was kicking in, making her feel warm. The breeze swept her hair out of her face, as she walked in the direction of the bus stop.  
  
Jaehwan had walked after her, staying at a far enough distance not to be detected. He knew she’d want to be alone, but his mother would have beaten him senseless for allowing her to walk anywhere by herself. He'd followed on instinct, which overpowered his urge to straight up verbally destroy the band’s maknae. She made him feel irrational, out of his own skin. He knew he had liked her two years ago, but he’d written her off as, ‘ _do not touch’_.  
  
It was obvious that she and Sanghyuk have – _had_ something between them. She was treated as a younger sibling by each member, nothing more. He had always known that she was pure to some degree, but the spat back at the club had made it abundantly clear as to what extent. Now he felt even more unworthy, hanging his head as a group of young girls walked past him.  
  
She made it to the bus stop, using her pass, and took a seat. It was an empty bus this late at night. He decided that she would be safe and slowly made his way back to his own car.  
  
He stared on ahead, deciding to insert himself as a major inconvenience in her life in an attempt to revive her.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Hindsight

* * *

Oversized Sweaters

* * *

  
_'I lied, now I'm lying awake._  
_I cried 'til my body ached.'_ \- Purity Ring  
  
Chapter Two: _Hindsight_  
  
It started almost immediately after what happened at the club. Why it started, she had no idea. If she said she was grateful, that would be a stretch. Jaehwan was acting oddly, wanting to hangout all the time. If he needed to get work done, he did it at her place. He often enjoyed parading around in his pajamas, loose plaid bottoms hanging dangerously low off his hips. The other day he hadn’t been wearing a shirt underneath that hooded zip-up.  
  
He would take long naps on her couch, always present. And despite her best efforts not to, she was starting to notice small details, like the fact that he usually slept in one position and didn’t need a blanket to keep warm. He never snored, his facial expressions soft during his slumber. And he slept heavy, unless there was food being cooked. Then he’d track on through her kitchen like a starving bear out for honey.     
  
He always tried to get her out of the house. Every time he saw her, he wanted to do something that he deemed as exciting. It was always vague, a kept secret until they arrived, which only made her more anxious. His plans to go somewhere new were always expensive and paid for in advance. He liked to remind her of this fact, in case she tried to opt out of it. It was unsettling, since she had no idea why the hell he was doing any of this to begin with. He never cared to do these things with her before.  
  
And there were times when he would stare at her, perhaps directly right through, knowingly exposing all of her self-doubts. The way he tilted his head at her sometimes, she could somehow hear the condescension, even in his silence. Or maybe she truly believed that he knew better.  
  
She’d grown used to his antics, playing the cute card whenever he wanted her to agree with him or if he simply wanted something for free. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t afford to buy whatever it was that he wanted. He only did it because he _could_ , from what she was able to tell. He loved testing his limits, took pleasure in seeing how far he could get by with his handsome appearance and sickeningly sweet aegyo behavior.  
  
It was manipulative, but he did manage to snag them two free meals that one time.  
  
Sometimes Jaehwan knew when she’d had her fill of both new and exciting. He’d open the door to her home, scolding her about once again leaving her place unlocked, whilst she complained about him walking in whenever he’d felt like it. He would bring bags of food and start cooking, informing her to set the table. Whenever he said that, it usually meant that he invited the others on over, save for Sanghyuk.  
  
“Should I get the board games out?” She looked over at him, watching as he tied one of her aprons around his slim waist. It didn’t exactly fit him correctly, but it was still a sight to behold. He walked over towards her, which was a pleasant reminder of their height difference. Jaehwan was tall and lean. For the few short glances she’d snuck of his body, he was rather toned with a rather obvious build.  
  
He tilted his head at her and smiled, “I was thinking we could just watch Taekwoon and your small friend go at each other's throats.”  
  
“You _would_ take pleasure in someone else's agony.”  
  
His eyes flashed for a moment, before a soft look of confusion replaced the menace on his face, “What?”  
  
She shook her head, dismissing the conversation. “Kidding, oppa.” But it wasn’t a joke at all. Wasn’t he only here, because he pitied her?  
  
The others arrived within the hour. Cha ‘diva’ Hakyeon was seated at the head of the table with his fingers clasped casually. He was practically glowing, as he watched the girl flutter around the kitchen to help Jaehwan. It was utterly adorable.  
  
She stood over the stew, watching the boil settle once the flame was turned off. Jaehwan grabbed the potholders from next to her and stood there with a hand on his hip.  
  
Dark eyes surveyed her for a long moment, enjoying the rare look of happiness on her face. She was pleased with his cooking, which was no real surprise. It wasn’t as though it were the first time he’d prepared food for her.  
  
He swatted at her playfully with one of the holders, “Out of my kitchen.”  
  
“This is my house,” She reminded him, but found that she was doing exactly what he’d asked of her. She took a seat next to her friend, waiting anxiously with an empty tummy. It felt odd this time. He visited so often, it was practically his place as well. Even his mother had called her phone a few times to ask about him.  
  
_‘We’re short a brat today in the Lee household. It gets quiet without our Jaehwannie. Is he with you by chance?’_  
  
_Her eyes widened slightly, ‘A-Ajumoni?!’_  
  
_‘You wicked child, how long has it been? Enough with the ajumoni. It’s eomeonim.’_  
  
Whenever the members of VIXX were around Jaehwan, his aegyo tended to amplify. Lately he’d been calm though, for the exception of him trying to get things for free by being cute and obnoxious. Sometimes she would even apologize on his behalf depending on the situation.  
  
Hakyeon pointed a finger between the two of them, “What is this?”  
  
Jaehwan served his hyungs first, placing a bowl down in front of Hakyeon and Leo. “Kimchi stew.” It wasn’t what the older man had meant, but he’d let it go for now.  
  
Wonshik beamed, voice nasally, “Every time I come here I find something else that I like…” He gestured towards the new figurine she’d picked up. It was called a Dream Watcher, supposedly it kept nightmares away. She wasn’t even superstitious, but Jaehwan had insisted on buying it for her on one of their trips.  
  
“Thank you,” She said, ears perking at the sound of the door to her home being opened. Hongbin had arrived, the sound of heavy boots stepping on wooden floors. She’d even accomplished becoming closer to the Bean once he started joining in on a few of hers and Jaehwan’s excursions. “You’re late!”  
  
The solemn look on his face silenced her instantly. Usually Hongbin was all smiles, but his expression was a mix between apologetic and guilty. It wasn’t until Sanghyuk walked in that she understood why.   
  
She averted her eyes to the dish in front of her, hands resting neatly on the top of her lap.  
  
“Noona,” came the deep, familiar voice. She felt gutted just from the sound of it. It made her feel anxious and uncomfortable. Her fingertips were cold and she could tell that all eyes were on her then. What happened next was her call, no one else’s, even if she wished someone would do something to help. “I know that I wasn’t invited. Hongbin tried to stop me from showing up, but I was hoping that we can talk? I’ll leave right after if you’d like.”  
  
_Carefully_ , Jaehwan thought. He was careful when he’d restored her piece by piece. She was originally made from a delicate fabric at first, see-through and susceptible to being damaged. He imagined her as an effigy consisting of only silk and easy to tear materials of the like. It would take little effort to rip her down, but over the past few months, he started to reshape her with stone.  
  
He didn’t give her time to feel the pain that she was meant to experience. He’d taken every spare second away from her, but now that Sanghyuk was standing there, he wondered if she’d shatter completely.  
  
He’d even considered interfering, when she spoke up, “Fine.”  
  
_Fine?_ Like _hell_ it was fine. Jaehwan bit his tongue and watched the both of them, until they were out of sight. Then his eyes fell to his new target, that being Hongbin.  
  
“Hyung…” the Bean started, still feeling incredibly guilty. “I tried to dissuade him.”  
  
“You didn’t try hard enough, _obviously_.”  
  
The younger man shrunk beneath Jaehwan’s gaze, not wanting to make matters worse with his excuses.   
  
Hakyeon shook his head, “I don’t know what he was thinking coming over here.”  
  
At the other end of the table, a love novel was unfolding. Taekwoon was holding his girlfriend’s hands comfortingly, “I would break down the door, until you spoke to me again.”  
  
She nodded, “That has actually happened already. You have literally broken two of my doors.”  
  
“You should open them when I knock,” He murmured to her gently, as he instinctively leaned in closer. “That way I won’t have to keep fixing them.”  
  
She searched his eyes, “I honestly should have gotten a restraining order against you by now, but I find that your unspoken violence is both attractive and confusing.”  
  
Taekwoon seemed to be smiling, “I’d break the restraining order.”  
  
Wonshik threw his hands up, about ready to lose it, “That’s not how that works, damn it!”  
  
Why did Sanghyuk show up? Her heart was racing with every step she took that distanced herself from her friends. She opened the door to her bedroom and allowed him to walk on in. It was her personal space and before she could think better of it, the door was already closed for some privacy.  
  
“Speak,” she said, arms crossing over herself with a sense of insecurity. She was hoping it would look defensive, if anything. The dark eyes settling on her then made her want to disappear.  
  
“First of all, I’m sorry for what happened at the club.” He met her gaze, trying to hold onto it for as long as she would allow it.   
  
She laughed, partially incredulous. “All those months ago?”  
  
He took a step closer, pausing when she backed herself away from him. “I’m sorry for the months that I had made you wait for me. It was selfish to come onto you the way that I did and then leave you with so little.”  
  
“You left me with a memory, which is nothing. It’s as good as nothing and I stayed a good girl the whole time, but you…” She felt an ache swelling up in her chest, her throat tight with pain. “…you were out and about with other women, making a fool of me the entire time. I was so pathetic. Hoping, wishing…” She tilted her head at him, saddened by the revelation, “I think I could have loved you. I was so enamored by you and now it just makes me sick.”  
  
“I’m sorry, but I’m here to ask for more,” He said, deciding to be upfront about it. It was obvious to him how much he’d hurt her and he wanted her to know that he still wanted her, no matter what he had to do in order to gain her trust again. If she was still this upset, then he had the leverage. “I tried to stop thinking of you, but I can’t.”  
  
She moved further backwards, as he attempted to close the space with each presaging step. Her entire body was shaking, until he closed his hands on her shoulders and forcibly kept her from inching away from him.  
  
“Look at me.” The same words, just like that night when he first kissed her.  
  
She shook her head at him, staring at his chest instead, “Never again.”  
  
“But you’re perfect for me,” He said, as he leaned down to become at eye level with her. He captured her eyes, staring into her as he had done so many times before. “I’ll let you feel how perfect we are again.”   
  
He stared at her lips, making it obvious as to what he was thinking of doing. The muscles in her body jerked and screamed, wanting to move, but she couldn’t. No – she couldn’t even utter a word or think a single thought anymore. His cologne was sweet and soft, eyes two black depths, and she was falling into him.  
  
Like a magician performing a familiar trick, he had her blinded and won over.  
  
The door to her room swung open abruptly, the force of impact had it crashing into the wall behind it. The noise startled the both of them from their reverie, as Sanghyuk turned to see Jaehwan standing there all mock casual and beaming fake smiles.  
  
“Goodness me, how long have I been coming here and I still can’t find my way to the bathroom.” He took a look around her room, laughing sheepishly. The brief flash of Jaehwan’s dark eyes had left her breathless and ashamed even, as though her lover had just caught her in an act of infidelity.  
  
A second later and she would have been engaged in a kiss she so badly wanted, but knew she had to decline at any cost. She should be grateful for the older man’s intrusion, but she felt as though she were in trouble. It was an unsettling feeling. She’d never witnessed an angry Jaehwan, but she could sense it radiating off of him.  
  
“Hyung, with all due respect–” Sanghyuk’s words were cut off, when she walked past him towards the door. He went to glare daggers at his band member, not expecting to receive a cold, narrowed expression in return.  
  
“You should leave,” She said, unable to look at either of them. Then she was gone, escaping to the dining room where she felt safe. It forced her to behave normally.  
  
Jaehwan reached his arm out, so that he was blocking the younger man from leaving the room, since there was more to be said. The boy was only a few inches taller than he was, but Jaehwan doubted Sanghyuk had any real skill or experience when it pertained to fighting a battle such as this. He’d been hurt in the past, sure, but Jaehwan had been many other things, before he was deemed cute.  
  
“If it wasn’t for your little…” His face soured, as he tried to find the right wording for how disgusted he felt. “… _desperate_ attempt to gain back the girl you don’t even deserve – will never deserve, she might’ve been able to forget about you. Now I’m not too sure. One thing is certain though, you will not be coming back here uninvited.”  
  
Sanghyuk had always known of his hyung’s feelings for her, but he’d ignored them for his own pursuit. She’d fallen for him, not Jaehwan, so he acted on it. “You must be working her hard, paying for trip after trip. The luxurious presents…but she won’t sleep with you, because you’re not me.” He leaned in closer, only a breadth away from being pressed against the other man. “She won’t even look at you, because you’re not me. If there is even a chance that she may fuck you, she’ll only be thinking of me.”  
  
There was a loud noise from the other room. It sounded like something solid had been slammed against a wall. Maybe Jaehwan had swung open another door? When the two men emerged, Sanghyuk was holding his nose in obvious discomfort, while Jaehwan seemed eerily calm about whatever had just occurred between them.  
  
It looked like assault, the elephant in the room that no one dared to address.  
  
Jaehwan motioned towards the table, where everyone grew still and silent with concern, “Do you want to stay for some of your _hyung’s_ Kimchi stew?”     
  
Sanghyuk ignored him and gave her one last fleeting look, before getting his goodbyes out of the way due to manner of habit.  
  
Jaehwan pouted, hearing the door close when the maknae left. “I guess not.”   
  
He adjusted the collar of his shirt, releasing a few of the top buttons. It wasn’t the last argument he was fixing to have that night. The second argument would most likely make his and Sanghyuk’s appear to be as smooth as a passing breeze.  
  
He didn’t intend on being a complete asshole about it, deciding to wait until their guests were gone. _Their_ – ah, he’d forgotten that her place didn’t belong to him, nor did she, herself. A part of what the maknae had said was true. She never wanted him, not then, and even now.  
  
The rest of the night went on well, all things considered. They didn’t get to make it to the games, having become immersed in conversation. The girl found herself in deep each time, always wanting to hear more. As a band, her friends had gone everywhere and along with every country, there were numerous stories – things that weren’t shared publically.  
  
Hakyeon pointed over at Wonshik, “He didn’t know he was hitting on a guy when we went over to Milan. Stopped in at this tiny bar called, ‘the Coup’. It was like one of those closet bars you find in Japan, you know, where only like, ten people can sit.”  
  
The rapper tried feigning his innocence, “Whoa, you said she was hot, too. You told me to go over and talk to her – him.”  
  
“Yes, well, we all told you to go over there, because we all knew it was a man.” Hakyeon shook his head, pitying him. “Tch, you’re not my brightest child, but at least you listen well. Should I reveal how long it took you to realize that Minnie Mouse was in fact Mickey Mouse that night?”  
  
Wonshik crossed his arms into a definitive ‘X’. “N-No!”  
  
It was the girl’s small friend who left first, Taekwoon taking his leave along with her. Hongbin had to be up early and split, saying his apologies once more. After a few more drinks, where Wonshik and Hakyeon found themselves beyond buzzed, they determined that they would walk back to the dorm.  
  
Jaehwan was quiet, as he collected the plates from the table and took them into the kitchen. The faucet turned on and the light clink of glass told her that he was proceeding to wash the dishes. He wasn’t known to be messy, but he never cleaned up after her. The cooking was the only domesticated thing he’d done, until now.  
  
She watched from the doorway, curious about what happened with Sanghyuk, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask.  
  
The singer shook out his hands when he was done and turned so that his back was pressed into the counter. He’d felt her there, but had pushed aside the impulse to speak until he was finished. He knew the moment he focused his attention on her, that he would get angry all over again. No one should be on the receiving end of his wrath, especially someone he practically yearned for at this point.  
  
“Did you wanna sleep off some of that alcohol?” She asked, being the first one to break the heavy silence. “I can make up the couch for you.”  
  
He finally looked at her. The expression itself was enough to send her to hell and back. “Have you become curious about the things that get me off?”  
  
She blinked, truly confused. “What?”  
  
“I apparently get off on people being hurt. That’s what you said, right, all flippantly. You implied that emotional pain gets me off.” He tilted his head at her, face resolute and unreadable. It was the side of Jaehwan she never wanted to see, ever. “You said it close enough for me to hear it earlier, but now you can’t talk about it.”  
  
It felt as though ice water had been thrown on her, leaving her shocked. There have been doubts living beneath, hidden as to not disrupt their routine. “Why else are you here?”  
  
“I can’t care about you without having an ulterior motive? If it’s not to fulfill my own perverse desires, then you think it’s because of pity?” He knew her damn deck before she even had a chance to play her hand. It was seamless for him, like an open book, his vulnerable girl. “Were you going to let Sanghyuk kiss you?”  
  
“Yes.” There was no use in lying to him, she knew that already. “If you hadn’t come bursting through my door, I believe we could have made some headway.”  
  
The muscles in his jaw tensed, as he grit his teeth. “You can’t be serious. Anyone, but him – hell, I would prefer you lived out the rest of your life alone, than to give him even an ounce of your affection.”    
  
“You keep imposing on me and it’s suffocating…” She moved to stand in front of him, eyes brimming with hot tears. “You’re always here, even when you shouldn’t be. You’re constantly late in showing up to your responsibilities and I get the phone calls for it. You sleep here, eat, shower…You didn’t give me a single moment to cry over Sanghyuk.”  
  
He swallowed thickly, as he stared down at her. “If you loved him, even a little, then you would have cried for him regardless.”  
  
She wound her arm back, acting upon a jerk reaction, but her wrist was caught before her hand could meet his face. He used her arm as leverage to pull her closer to him. Her cheeks were red, overheated from the emotions coursing through her.  
  
“You love him? Think about it. He left you after making a promise.” His grip tightened when she tried yanking herself free. “What did he do to show you that he cared about you? A kiss?”  
  
He stretched his opposite hand at the side of her face, short nails pressing into her skin as he kissed her hard on the mouth. The kiss was a point that he was making, breathing ragged as the pressure increased until they were both trembling from the bruising force of it. There was no reaction on her end, which he took as a clear rejection.  
  
Jaehwan gently set her down, reluctant to release her at first, as he remained in her personal space. Her eyes were closed long after the kiss had ended, attempting to steady her breathing, but hell if it was working.  
  
“I came here each day, because I like you. No, it’s more than that. It’s not a grade school crush. I’ve had these feelings for you since the moment I first saw you. I could never…” He traced a lone finger just beneath her chin, tilting her face up to look at him. Her eyes slowly opened, meeting the intense gaze he fixed on her then. “…enjoy seeing you in pain, which is why I didn’t want you to feel anything. That’s why, not him. No second chances. Promise me.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” She slowly stepped away from him. For some reason it hurt just to place distance between them. First it was Sanghyuk and then Jaehwan with his kiss and confession. She pressed a hand to the side of her head and turned away.  
  
He nodded to himself, because he knew that this would be the outcome. Jaehwan had seen it coming, especially whenever his mind wandered on over to the ‘what if’ department.  
  
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He collected his things, taking his time gathering each item. Not in hopes that she would stop him or that she would suddenly discover a newfound liking towards him. It was for her sake, rather. He was still trying to take care of her in his own way.  
  
That was when he realized that he was pathetic, as always. It was why he stayed put, single and hopeless. Having received his first kiss and more in his early twenties, he’d felt both patient and depraved all at once. It was a blessing and a curse. He’d matured earlier than he would have liked, which is why he was such a silly bastard now.  
  
Greed was on the tips of his fingers. He had surprised himself when he was able to pull himself away from her. Jaehwan closed the door to her home and brought himself to his car. He pressed his hands to the top exterior, leaning heavily against it.  
  
He would stop being late to practice. The dance for Dynamite was a complicated ordeal, one that he would spend most of his time perfecting. He had to remember that he had an entire world outside of her.  
  
He stared back at her house, wondering if it would hurt her if he never returned.

* * *

**TBC**

 

 

 


	3. Acceptance

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The next chapter, after this, is going to be downright filthy. Just fyi.

* * *

Oversized Sweater

* * *

  
_'So take your time._  
_Pretend your mine._ ' - Dance Movie  
  
Chapter Three: Acceptance  
  
_Two weeks later_  
  
The days passed on slowly, drawn out to the point where everything felt still, and only she was in motion. Even something as simple as walking to the bus was a task for her. Sometimes she found herself amazed that she’d arrived at work, asking herself how the hell she’d gotten there. It must be the weather that had her feeling off. It was chilly and rainy all the time, what with it being spring at last.  
  
She shelved the new vinyl records that had come in, tagging the prices on them. It was grunt work, but she needed to be around music, and the grandma who owned the store had the NOW HIRING sign up for way too long. Every morning she’d end up passing it, catching her eye, and making the wheels in her head turn and turn. She didn’t need the money, but she wanted to help.   
  
_‘It’s too late, girl…_ ’         
  
“It sounds like Wonshik oppa,” she murmured, reading carefully over the order details in her hand. She picked up a stack of records and moved towards the proper genre section.     
  
_‘All mine, her mind…’_ Because that wasn’t creepy at all, what the hell – she shook her head at the English lyrics. _‘Maybe I’m jealous!’_  
  
She paused to finally look up at one of the multiple LCD screens in the store, confirming what she already knew to be true. There was VIXX’s new video for _Dynamite_. A certain bleach blonde haired vocalist appeared, caramel eyes hidden behind blue lenses. Lee Jaehwan was the equivalent of a storm that was set to ruin everything she believed in.    
  
_‘What’re you looking at? Let me go…’_ It was already two weeks since she’d last seen him, yet there he was...She was entranced, allowing a few records to slip from her loosening grip. _‘Don’t tell me to calm down, what’s the use? I already see the end anyway.’_  
  
Sanghyuk’s part came up, but she felt very little as she stared at him. It was as though Jaehwan’s words influenced her somehow. His words echoed at the back of her mind. **Not him, no second chances. Promise me.** What was it, some sort of spell?  
  
Their new music video must’ve played a dozen times during her shift and each time she couldn’t help but watch it. When it was time to go home, it was like being released from a torture chamber in hell. She scooped up the mail and tossed it on the kitchen table. It was a long time since she’d felt hungry – truly starving.  
  
She couldn’t remember what she had for lunch or yesterday’s dinner. She hadn’t even changed the calendar month. The girl opened her cabinet and took out a ramen packet, deciding what was for dinner. She kept liquid meals in the fridge. It wasn’t as though she avoided having a proper meal, it’s just, what was the point when she lived alone?  
  
Why remake the couch with the comfortable pillows and the blankets? Why make sure that the fridge was restocked? She passed the bathroom, catching a glimpse of Jaehwan's shaving gel, unable to throw it away for some reason. Why keep the bathroom clean anymore? She went to her room and changed into an oversized hooded sweatshirt and shorts. She wouldn’t usually wear shorts in front of Jaehwan, but now she could.  
  
She could also happily parade around the house without a bra again.  
  
It would be another one of those nights where she’d watch television and fall asleep early. Hakyeon had invited her out, but she didn’t want to chance seeing Sanghyuk. Several times she’d considered it just so she’d run into Jaehwan. Her only female friend was too busy being wrapped around Taekwoon’s finger and hardly had the time to hang out anymore.  
  
She brought her bowl of cheese flavored ramen to the coffee table in the living room and sat down on the carpet. There was something bunched up half under the couch and half beneath her. She tugged at it impatiently, groaning with every bit of effort applied, until it was freed.  
  
It was a soft, yet heavy material – gigantic, a sweater she would swim in, no doubt. It wasn’t hers, but it was his, Jaehwan’s. No, she doesn’t buy _Andersson Bell_ sweaters at 80,000 won a piece. And that price was relatively inexpensive, all things considered.  
  
Without even realizing what she was doing, she brought the article up to her face and breathed in slowly. It smelled like spice and pistachio cream, a chai latte, the scent she’d gotten used to. Her home had once smelled like him, but it faded without her realizing it. Not until that very moment when she had it filling up her lungs.  
  
When had it first disappeared?  
  
She drew her sweatshirt up over her head and replaced it with Jaehwan’s, finding it more comfortable than her own. It would be nice if she could keep it. At this rate, maybe she could.  
  
Her phone went off beside her and she looked to see it was a KKT message from Hakyeon. It was in a group that all seven of them belonged to, making their plans easier.  
  
**Cha-Cha**  
Did you see our video for Dynamite today? * ^ . ^ *  
(5)  
  
She smiled, speaking what she was typing out, “Yes, I did. It must’ve played twenty times during work today. It’s a really fun song! I keep singing the beginning part to myself.”  
  
**Cha-Cha**  
I won’t believe you, unless there’s either photographic proof of your happiness, or a video, at least.  
(3)  
  
**Mr. Bean**  
Hyung-nim isn’t being unreasonable here. I too would like a video of you doing Ravi’s opening. It’s fate that it’s in English.  
(3)  
  
**YOLO**  
All mine, her mindㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
(3)  
  
She opted to send a photo over a video, attempting to look bright and happy. Her makeup from work hadn’t faded yet. She snapped the photo and sent it on through.  
  
**Cha-Cha**  
Oh, ho! Look how cute she is…  
(3)  
  
**YOLO**  
Why did you give her options?  
(3)  
  
**Cha-Cha**  
If you want to hear her sing it that badly, then you beg.  
You’re good at that.  
(2)  
  
**YOLO**  
What the fuck, hyung?  
(2)  
  
**Cha-Cha**  
I’ll give you a ‘what the fuck’.  
See you in your room in 1 minute.  
I told you to mind your manners.  
But…  
You keep swearing.  
Unlock the door.  
(2)  
  
**Jaehwan Oppa**  
Isn’t that my sweater?  
(4)  
   
She froze instantly, reading the vocalist’s words over and over again, until they registered. She looked down at what she was wearing and felt herself die on repeat. Her eyes closed for a long moment, lips twitching slightly in embarrassment.  
  
“Oh, is this yours? I found it and assumed it was mine. Did you want to swing by and pick it up?”  
  
**Jaehwan Oppa**  
Although it does look better on you, I can’t allow you to keep a sponsored product.  
So, yes…  
I’ll be picking it up now, while I have the time.  
See you soon.  
(4)  
  
It was partially what she wanted, just not on such ridiculous terms. She wanted to see Jaehwan again, badly. The way they ended their friendship wasn’t fair. She hadn’t been honest with herself, too blind to even recognize how she felt.  
  
She’d need a grand gesture after all the shit she pulled. So, she decided to stay put in his sweater and the small pair of shorts.  
  
Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. She’d half expected him to just waltz in like he usually does and was disappointed when he hadn’t. She opened the door and was greeted with a smile. Jaehwan’s features were sharp, distinct, and icy at the moment. She’d taken even the simplest things for granted, like being able to stare at him openly.  
  
He was tall, but she was already used to all of VIXX being giants. His blonde hair was swooped up neatly and he was covered in layers upon layers. He filled out the jeans he was wearing, the hard work paying off, she supposed. He always becomes more fit around comeback time.  
  
“You don’t look well,” he said, as he stepped inside her home. She was parading around in almost nothing, yet that was the statement he made. She closed the door and turned, nearly colliding with his chest.  
  
“Nice to see you, too.”  
  
“You’re bones.” He roamed his eyes over her in an obvious manner, guiltless as he found himself enjoying the way his sweater clung to her every curve. The sleeves were rolled up to fit around her small wrists. Then there was the matter of her pale legs. They were covered in bruises and scratches, signs of her clumsiness. He would have appreciated it more, but there were too many signs that she’d been neglecting her health. Not enough sleep, not enough food…  
  
_Fuck._  
  
He didn’t want to get involved anymore. She’d cut him out of the picture, so he had no right to care about it.  
  
“What did he do now?” The vocalist crossed the room, distancing himself from her on purpose. The last time he’d been that close to her, he’d kissed her.  
  
“What did who do?” He arched his brow at her, when she realized bitterly. Sanghyuk. “He’s not the reason why I’m like this…”  
  
“Then what is this?” He gestured up and down with his hand, from her head to her toes. The tone he spoke to her in was glacial, as well as impatient. He couldn’t stand it, honestly. “Why do you look broken, again?”  
  
Where was she supposed to begin? She doubted he wouldn’t believe her if she suddenly spilled her feelings to him.  
  
He laughed short when she didn’t answer him. “If you won’t talk to me, just give me the sweater.”  
  
“If you want it that badly…” It took every ounce of bravado within her to do as she intended, arms crossing to the sides of the sweater, and slowly pulling the article over her head.  
  
He stared at her, unblinkingly. A breath escaped from his lungs, hushing into a weak laugh. It was too late to pass himself off as a gentleman, and turn his back to her. No, long moments had already gone by and although he didn’t break their tense eye contact, he could still very much see everything she had revealed to him.  
  
She dropped the sweater at her feet, challenging him.    
  
He swallowed thickly, noticing that he had practically been salivating. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Confessing, offering, commanding in a single motion.” He hadn’t even touched her and she could already feel her body reacting to him. He might even reject her. A rush of fear, anxiety, and desire struck at the pit of her stomach.   
  
He wanted her, in some quasi-romantic, prince charming to snow white kind of way. Hell, he wanted to take pages from his performance in Cinderella and start belting out harmonies. Whenever he saw himself with her, he always imagined a slow, patient courtship. Yet there she was, his meek virgin, standing there in just shorts.  
  
And for as enticing as it was, it was also a trap. He couldn’t accept her heart and not give her what she wanted, because that would hurt her beyond measure. He couldn’t argue on whether she was ready or not, because that too would deter her. It was like his grandmother once said, ‘don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’. But it was just two weeks ago that she still wanted Sanghyuk.  
  
His lovely, endearing little princess was daring him, coaxing him…  
  
Challenge accepted.

* * *

**TBC**


	4. Fever

* * *

Oversized Sweater

* * *

  
_'I fear the fever,_  
_deep in my bones._  
_It runs electric,_  
_it draws me home.'_ \- Digital Daggers  
  
Chapter Four: Fever  
  
The mood had changed considerably, since the vocalist had focused his heavy gaze on her. The switch in his demeanor was visibly evident, whilst the raw expression he’d met her with left her feeling captivated and lightheaded. It was difficult for her to be so direct, skin covered in chills from the cold of her apartment, and the fact that she was wearing practically nothing in front of Jaehwan.  
  
She’d damned near tossed herself at his feet, save for the dramatics. It was the fact that she was propositioning him.     
  
“How forward you’ve become,” he said after awhile, smirking although it was void of any real amusement, as he slowly approached her. There were other ways of giving her exactly what she wanted without compromising her dignity, or so he assumed. His appetite could overwhelm him in the end.   
  
Jaehwan took his time in removing the jacket he was wearing and tossed it onto the couch. He could see it now, standing there with her breasts exposed, and legs curved inwards. There were flecks of innocence seeping through the cracks of her resolve. He’d never bedded a virgin, partially due to the fact that he didn’t want to partake in the responsibility.  
  
But he wanted her, more than he’d ever wanted anything for himself. This, he found to be absurd once he’d first realized it. The moment she looked at him, she’d sealed her fate. After awhile, he’d been so certain that she would never truly belong to him.      
  
He kneeled down in front of her, picking up the sweater steadily. He wasn’t shaking, no – but he was burning somehow, itching to touch her. He could make out the anxious chills creating bumps along her soft skin. He stared up at her, allowing the knitted fabric to land on the floor beside them. His hands were suddenly at her hips, keeping her still.  
  
She could feel his hot breath tease just above the hem of her small shorts, before he placed a lingering kiss there. The pressure was light, as though he were testing her for any traces of uncertainty or doubt.    
  
Her fingers ran through his platinum blonde hair, tugging gently at the ends. “Does this mean that you’ve forgiven me?”  
  
“No,” He said decidedly, teeth sharp when they grazed over her skin. He was satisfied when she elicited a soft gasp in response. The wet, hot swirl of his tongue made her legs grow weak. An arm was wound tightly around her waist, anchoring her to him, as his mouth traveled up along her body.  
  
He skimmed over her ribcage, small and fragile as it was, with the tips of his fingers. She held in a breath when he’d discovered a rather sensitive spot beneath her arm. It was malicious of him to seek out each individual spot, before leaving his mark on her. The circling of his tongue was incessant, starting a rhythm that had her hips rocking forth involuntarily.  
  
“Why won’t you…” She said, trying to remember the basics of breathing. It would only become more difficult to concentrate as the night progressed. A part of her felt that she should give up for the time being, but the situation itself was foreign to her, and she tended to speak more whenever she was nervous.       
  
“Because you didn’t realize your feelings sooner.” The vocalist paused to look at her briefly – accusingly, before he ghosted his lips over a raised nipple. Her breasts were full in his large hands, weighted, and soft. If he were to act on instinct alone, he would have her pinned to the floorboards with his tongue laving at her from top to bottom, until she was a quivering, dripping mess.  
  
Jaehwan realized that he was a proper sadist, a sexual deviant. The only thing he could do was pity her and to finally indulge himself. He deserved her and she wanted him.  
  
His cheeks hollowed, as he held her peaked flesh to the tight suction of his mouth. The small, breathy sounds she emitted served to chip away at every last bit of restraint he was holding onto, encouraging him to drag her closer towards the edge. Soon his tongue started to flick over her, wet, and sloppy.    
  
Shaking fingers tugged hard at the roots of his hair, when he captured both her wrists abruptly with a hiss. It was a pain that had felt all too pleasant. He couldn’t handle her rough treatment, even if it was innocent on her end. He held her arms behind her back, forcing her to arch uncomfortably against his mouth. An unspoken punishment would be established, as the pressure of his lips tightened, not letting up until she cried out.  
  
Between the heated strokes of his tongue and the playful nips of his teeth, she couldn’t stand for much longer. The dull ache at the pit of her stomach only seemed to intensify the more persistent his actions grew. The next firm press of his lips had made her knees buckle and she managed to land against him, stabled with his arms around her.  
  
The vocalist could feel her heart hammering away against his chest. He brushed her hair back gently, finding her nervousness to be particularly endearing. Jaehwan stared down into her eyes, the blunt emotions contained within them was unwavering, as he leaned in to kiss her slowly. The hand that was tangled in her hair slid along the back of her neck, cradling her against his mouth.  
  
Catering to the fire he’d started, he pressed his leg up between her thighs. The choked gasps she released were swallowed back greedily, as he parted her lips with his tongue. She was pliable beneath its force, and so incredibly soft. The cold silver of his ring adorned fingers whispered over the sides of her face, as he pulled her closer.  
  
Each time his tongue teased against hers, she was granted another taste of whatever sweet beverage he’d had before coming over. She wanted more of it, as she curled her hands into the fabric of his shirt, and pulled impatiently. It was a desperate act, as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss, jaw lowering in rhythm with his mouth. In the past, she hadn’t found kissing to be a terribly arousing experience. Not until Sanghyuk and now with Jaehwan.  
  
He captured her chin between two fingers, breathing raggedly from their kiss. Staring at her mouth, he roughly trailed his thumb along her bottom lip. “Stick out your tongue.”  
  
She did as he instructed, eyebrows furrowed cutely as she tried not to laugh. As if sensing her bout of delirium, he scooted her further up along the thigh that she was currently straddling. Her legs closed tightly around him and he watched her cheeks flush. He narrowed his eyes at her, wondering if he would be strong enough to hold back.    
  
The vocalist closed his mouth around her tongue, sucking audibly. There was a lot to learn about a woman’s tongue, even the shape of their lips. He found it to be erotic, though clearly not as erotic as her innocence. It belonged to him, every bit of her that he had claimed thus far, cherished, and so very much _his_. Still pure, no matter what he would end up doing to her.  
  
Gaining more confidence, she nibbled on his bottom lip, sending a pleasurable chill down his spine. It echoed dauntingly, but he figured that it was just a mistake, doubting she could be so brazen, until she did it again – harder even. A guttural moan escaped him, the sound of it absolutely blissful. It spurred her to the point that she’d nearly forgotten her place.  
  
“You absolutely, _cannot,_ do that,” he said, emphasizing each word with a firm kiss. “It’s detrimental to my self-restraint.”  
  
“You seemed to like it, you know. The pain...” Even the simple mentioning of the word, hell the whole sentence from her mouth seemed to have done something to him.   
  
As much as he quite did enjoy pain, he much preferred to be the one issuing it. That kind of information might scare her off, which wasn’t a risk he was willing to take at the present. It was possible that she could find that out slowly, carefully. He quietly watched her, brown eyes glinting mischievously.  
  
The pressure of his knee had disappeared, which made the aching sensation in her belly return, only worse. He pulled her into his lap with her legs strewn across his own in a sideways sitting position. Her head fell back against the couch, eyes closed when she felt him skimming his short nails over the smooth plain of her stomach.  
  
“I bet I won’t even need to slick my fingers…” He said to her softly, enjoying the sight of seeing her so comically mortified. The calm of his voice only added an odd sense of practicality and a whole new level of appeal to the situation. He moved his hand low beneath her shorts, staying above her panties, sparing her any further embarrassment for now. His words were probably doing enough damage. He chuckled into the side of her neck, “What do you think, princess? Are you wet for me?”  
  
She shivered against the warmth of his mouth, the heat of his words, and the fact that he was so dangerously close to finding out how right he’d been. Not that she had a way of articulating it. He cupped her into his palm, lips parting along her throat. Her eyes opened to stare up at the ceiling, each one of her withheld breaths coming out shakily.    
  
The flimsy material of her panties was practically drenched through, void of any real use, especially as a barrier. It made touching her easier, as his three fingers rubbed up and down every inch of her pussy. He wanted to further test out her reactions, as he circled his thumb over her clit in slow, meticulous circles. Her body jerked involuntarily, before she bit at her lip, stifling a moan.  
  
Touching herself had never gone this way and that was at least one sexual thing that she was well versed in. Jaehwan though, seemed to be an expert in this area. Her body froze when she felt one of his fingers pressing against her entrance through her panties, nearly pushing in several times just from the slickness of her arousal.  
  
He sighed contentedly, nuzzling against her ear as he spoke, “Do you want to know why I’m taking things slowly?”  
  
“Is it because you’re into torture?”  
  
She felt his lips broaden into a grin, teeth pressing into her. “It’s because I want you screaming when I finally let you come.”  
  
_Oh, let her, would he?_  
  
He pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek, when she turned towards him, mouths crashing urgently. He allowed her to grind her hips into his touch, shoving his tongue past her lips just as he’d eased a finger partially inside her. It should have been more difficult with the fabric in the way, but it wasn't, she was so utterly soaked. Her walls closed around the intrusion, the tight resistance only a prelude to the intensity that he’d get to share with her.  
  
His cock was hard, pulsing, and borderline uncomfortable within the confines of his jeans. He knew it would fucking hurt, but he hadn’t anticipated it being quite this bad. Then her sinful mouth did exactly what he’d taught her to do, as if she meant to bury him. She closed her lips around his tongue and suckled tightly. Her head bobbed, mimicking what his cock so desperately needed at that point.  
  
She stilled when he added in a second finger, pushing into her slowly. He wished to go deeply, sinking past his knuckles, but again he was restricted by the fabric. Her head fell back, the angle leaving her neck exposed, beautiful and notably unmarked. It was like an unspoken invitation when he grazed his teeth along her skin. The sharp pinch only seemed to arouse her more, as he felt her clench around him tightly.  
  
_Good girl,_ he thought, his inner sadist purring at the endless possibilities.  
  
The wet sounds of his thrusts were loud in the quiet room. She felt herself being filled with a tangible heat whenever he entered her, becoming more of a mess. The pleasure was building steadily, up through her thighs and to the center of her stomach. Every time he flicked his wrist, she thought she would spill over.  
  
He traced his tongue in hard circles over her skin, marking her in a pseudo high school fashion. It was immature of him to leave a bruise above chest level, but he wanted her to see it when he wasn’t around. He wanted many people to observe it, mistake it – or not mistake it. The tight suction of his mouth caused her hands to push lightly against him. Her fevered noises were giving away to how close she was to coming, which prompted him to stop immediately.  
  
“Stand up.”  
  
She wordlessly obeyed him, partially eager to get him to the bedroom so she could tear off his clothes, and finally consummate their...relationship? He pulled her closer to him by her hips, hands parting her legs for him. Licking at his lips, he leaned in to taste her. She could feel the heat from his mouth even through the layers of clothing.  
  
“W-Wait, I didn’t shower, and I worked, and, and…” He’d received mixed responses whenever it came down to eating out women. It was an even mix of being too embarrassed or completely shameless about it. He personally enjoyed the endeavor, was possibly addicted to it.  
  
He closed his mouth on her, the strong muscle of his tongue creating a line into the material. Jaehwan’s mouth, swollen and so incredibly red, was set to destroy her. She wondered how amazing his treatment would feel if she were bare, but was too shy to remove the remainder of her clothing. Her legs wobbled slightly, which nearly caused her to fall as she did earlier.  
  
“New game,” He murmured to her, voice low. His pupils were dilated, arousal clear on his handsome features. “If you fail to be still one more time, then you’ll be punished.”  
  
It wasn’t all that surprising that Jaehwan would be playful in the preverbal bedroom. She questioned him, curiously, “Punished?  
  
“Yes, punished, in a way that I see fit. Let’s make it more difficult though, hm?” He hooked his fingers into her shorts and lowered them past her legs. “I know how my princess likes to be challenged.”  
  
He allowed her to use her hands, as she rested them atop his shoulders to better gain balance. Her stomach grew tight, when he placed his mouth on her again. Each stroke of his tongue slipped between her lower lips and up over her swollen clit. There was the distinct threat of his teeth, the bruising touch of his fingers, all of it striking chords within her.  
  
The vocalist’s breathing was coming out harshly, as he buried his nose into the line of her panties, exhaling audibly. She felt as though she were about to die, when he teased the point of his tongue at her entrance. It prodded the material into her, not uncomfortable, but it made her realize that the article didn’t serve as an obstruction. Not from the hot lashing of his tongue nor the long fingers that parted her wide open for him to better devour her.  
   
“I-It’s okay to go under.” She was so incredibly close, as she moved her panties aside for him. The muscles in her body tensed when he resumed his ministrations, a hand adjusting her, so that one leg was resting over his shoulder. The stickiness of his saliva mixed with her arousal made a wet sound whenever he darted his tongue into her, deep and controlled. He did say that he wanted her to scream and she just might at this point.  
  
He gathered up the mess that was between her thighs, using two fingers to run over her clit. It was fast, hard and in rhythm. Her hips rocked against it, getting used to the pressure that was once again building in the pit of her stomach. And it was when that same pressure started to relent, that her body trembled from the intense high of pleasure. She was so close to her release, sweat prickling at the back of her neck.  
  
He thrust his tongue into her again, as he sped up the pace of his fingers. Her mouth was parted in bliss. Then she shook, teetering on edge – just a second away – she’d lost her fucking balance. Jaehwan caught her before she could land on her knees, nuzzling his face against her with a laugh. She was breathing into the side of his neck, clinging to him for dear life.    
  
He pressed his mouth against her cheek, speaking quietly to her. “Let’s go to your room.”  
  
“Oh, is that where you enjoy handing out the punishments?” She asked, while she slowly removed herself from him, finding it difficult to keep her hands off entirely. The moment he stood at his full height, her arms were draped around his waist so she could press into the solid line of his body. His skin was warm through the plain shirt he was wearing and he smelled absolutely wonderful.  
  
He hadn’t bothered answering her question, instead he was too busy enjoying the way her fingers curved at sides, and up along his back. Getting into trouble with him shouldn’t be such an adorable thing. Losing against him needed elements of both fear and excitement. He picked her up with little effort, forcing her legs to close around his waist.  
  
“Have you ever fucked one of your exes against a wall?” She asked, as she bit at one of his pointed ears, satisfied when she heard him draw in a quick breath.  
  
The tug of her teeth made him stop altogether, when he was suddenly pressing her into the nearest wall. He’d ripped her hands away from him and pinned them to the hard surface. The passive expression on his face was enough to silence her completely.    
  
“If you’d like to get fucked against a wall, then you should ask for it, _nicely_.” He stared through her then, as though to unravel her with his eyes. The offer hit her, reminding her of how badly she needed to soothe the ache at her core.    
  
The rough seam of his jeans was rubbing against her due to their intimate position. It was a fact that he was all too aware of, as he adjusted himself purposefully so he could better grind his hips into her. The sound she made was enough to leave him unhinged, as he repeated the motion again and again with untamed vigor.  
  
He traced the slender line of her throat with the tip of his tongue, bruising her skin. The way he forcefully held her wrists left her without control, restrained. She moved against him restlessly, trying to create more friction.  
  
“That feels so good,” she whispered, shakily. He nipped along the underside of her jaw, humming his affirmation.    
  
It was when she started to quake, that he sealed her mouth with his own, drinking in all of the sounds she was making. _Fuck_ , she wanted him. Her body practically throbbed, having been denied its release again and again. She could feel her walls closing around nothing, but she wanted – needed something more, as her orgasm steadily approached.   
  
The vocalist stopped in his ministrations, cutting it short before she could truly feel the loss. The glare she fixed on him was ignored, as he carefully let go of her arms and helped her set her feet back on the ground. Her vision blurred the harder she focused on staring holes through his face. When he turned to look at her, they were mere inches apart from touching, lips swollen from the shared abuse.    
  
His voice was thick with arousal, as he pointed in the direction of her door, “Bedroom.”  
  
A short laugh escaped her from the finality in his tone, as she took her time padding down the hallway. He followed after her quietly, like a ghost with one last possession. Was she too turned on to be properly pissed off at him or had she just simply become prey like everyone else? She turned the light on in her room and stood at the foot of her bed with her back to him. The heat of his presence radiated and could be felt, before he even touched her. The vocalist skimmed his knuckles down the length of her spine, sighing at how receptive, and warm she was for him.  
  
He leaned in over her shoulder so that he could speak against the soft shell of her ear, “Place your hands on the mattress.”  
  
This wasn’t what she’d imagined her first time to be like, not that it was a bad thing necessarily. She pressed her hands into the bed, watching it sink beneath the added weight. Her cheeks burned hotly, as she looked over at him, “Like this?”    
  
Jaehwan’s dark eyes were downright predatory, as he surveyed her stance with a little more than satisfactory. He was in awe of her. She was expressive and willing, the girl he always knew she was, an equal.      
  
Placing a hand against her lower back, he bent her further at the waist. His touch lingered, as he danced his fingers over her skin. “Have you ever fantasized about being in a position such as this?”  
  
“I’ve fantasized about being in many positions, except you don’t talk as much.” Her head turned back towards the paisley bedding, lips in a straight line to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter.  
  
Originally, he was going to give her a few spanks, but now that seemed too dull a punishment, what with her mouth running and all.       
  
“In these fantasies, you’re probably soaked through as you are now.” He licked at his lips, trailing his fingers between her thighs, rubbing in hard and fast circles until her legs trembled. It was a reminder of the fact that she wasn’t in control. He yanked down her panties to mid-thigh with his other hand, clear webs of her arousal gleaming with its removal. “I was probably stuffed deep inside your tight cunt-”  
  
“Whoa, hey! HEY!” She shouted in an attempt to drown out the rest of his words, burying her face into the sheets. “That word ii-s…not…it’s j-just…not…the fact that you even…And the way you said ‘stuffed’ as if you’re huge or something…”  
  
She really had no idea.  
  
“Oh, you poor, poor thing…” He tsked, while unzipping his jeans, suppressing a hiss when the metal grazed over his hard length. It was goddamned painful. He pulled himself free from his boxers, cool air hitting his heated skin, as he smeared the precum along his cock with controlled strokes. “Insulting me, as if that doesn’t only make me want you more?”    
  
She snorted at the prospect, “So, playground flirtation works on you, then? Should I shove you on the grass or kick you in the shins?”   
  
The silence in the room was a declaration of his puzzlement. He wondered then if she truly liked the idea of being punished. That mouth of hers had continued to taunt and ridicule him. He suddenly grabbed her by the hips, wedging his thick cock between her legs so that he was nestled up against her. The slick wetness of her heat coated him when he thrust along the lips of her pussy, teasing over her clit.  
  
She closed her legs to better encase him there, gasping out from the pleasure hitting her immediately. The prospect of getting off by his cock without being breached was erotic in its own right, but she was watching him part open whenever he rocked his hips. The tip of his cock was leaking prettily and he fit against her snug and perfect.  
  
“Did you imagine me pounding – into – you?” He asked, while enunciating each word with a hard thrust, mimicking how he would like to fuck her. The impact had her knees hitting the bed, the pain going unnoticed from the intense stimulation. Her orgasm was threatening to flood through her again, licking its way to her core. Voice dispassionate, he continued, “Or was I gentle? _Vanilla_?”  
  
He leaned forward, not waiting on a response, while kneading her breasts with long, calloused fingers. He used this as leverage when he stood her up on her toes and pulled her back against the wall of his chest. She turned her face upwards, their lips meeting in a kiss that was all consuming. The vocalist was practiced, as he flicked and teased his tongue inside her mouth. The pace of his hips quickened, as they snapped against her as he neared his release.  
  
She moved against him on instinct, whimpering when he broke away from the kiss with a gasp. He spread his fingers along the side of her face, making sure she was staring directly at him, as his hips stuttered. She felt a warm splash along her stomach and between her legs. It was enough to have interrupted her from her reverie, her mind having been completely wiped, and filled with only him. He slowed in his rhythm, until he’d stopped completely, once again denying her body what it needed.  
  
She turned out of his arms, her chest heaving with every breath, angry and beyond turned on at that point. Would she have to get herself off? She watched as the vocalist casually yanked up his jeans, and zipped them closed. Was he really going to leave her like that? What the fuck kind of sick punishment was that?  
  
He chuckled, coldly, despite the warmth in his eyes. “Oh, don’t you worry, I fully intend on taking care of you. In fact, I’m going to devour you, piece by piece.” He walked closer, so that he hovered above her then, tall and imposing. Their bodies brushed teasingly, as the tension stole the very air from the room. He backed her up, until the back of her legs met the frame of her bed, continuing, “I will have you screaming and begging...You will know of nothing, except me.”  
  
He carefully eased her onto the mattress, watching as her hands folded tightly into the sheets, scooting herself towards the headboard – panties tossed elsewhere. It was as though she were preparing herself to get fucked through the wall. He got on his knees, dragging her towards the edge of the bed with his hands on her calves. He’d wedged her legs apart and hooked them over his broad shoulders. The scent of her arousal was thick, the substance a clear, sticky mixture of the both of them.  
  
It would be a shame to waste a single drop, honestly. He sighed contentedly, as he turned his blonde head towards her inner thigh, giving the skin there a tentative flick of his tongue. She flinched at the contact, muscles tense. He suckled the already moist flesh, humming a sound of appreciation, as he nipped sharply.  
  
“J-Jaehwan…” She gasped out, hips unable to keep from squirming. He allowed her the small freedom, deciding to concentrate on the mess decorating her stomach. His mouth traced a meticulous path across her skin, saliva sticking to her with every slow draw of his hot tongue, cleaning her and dirtying her all at once.   
  
He resumed his attention on her other thigh, lips and teeth riding up closer to where she needed him the most. Slowly, he pushed a finger deep inside her glistening heat. He could see her walls clinging around him each time he withdrew from her, and shoved back in. She looked positively delicious, as he felt himself stirring again.  
  
It was time to stop with his punishment, as he closed his lips tightly around her clit, tongue and wrist flicking at an expert pace. A pair of dark eyes stared up at her, pinning her to the spot when he sucked greedily on her swollen flesh. He held her tightly against his mouth with his hands on her hips, keeping her from moving further off the bed.  
  
He replaced his finger with the point of his tongue, the thick muscle thrusting in deeply. A thumb ran over her clit, firm and hard coupled by the velvety intrusion. A wave of pleasure rippled throughout her body and she feared that at any moment he was going to stop what he was doing – but he hadn’t yet.  
  
A sob escaped her, eyes tightly closed against the stream of moans that seemed to flow involuntarily. She could feel tears collecting – she wasn’t particularly convinced that the sounds were her own, as she careened in bliss. Her orgasm tore through her, pulsing and contracting painfully. She hadn’t just screamed, nope. He released his grip on her, allowing her to roll her hips against his mouth, drinking in everything she had to give him.  
  
She slowed, her muscles still twitching, limbs like jelly. The rush from the high made her feel lightheaded and out of her own skin.  
  
“Orgasm denial isn’t the worst punishment I can think of. Don’t expect each time to be so easy.” Jaehwan mused for a moment, taking in the flush of her cheeks, the blanket of sweat covering her body, and that look of utter elation. She was absolutely stunning and all his – a line that was beginning to repeat itself, since he still couldn’t believe it.  
  
Any moment Sanghyuk was going to waltz back into her life and steal her away with pretty words. He tried to will the thought away, as he stripped out of his shirt. He was wearing a dark tank top beneath it.           
  
Covering her eyes, she laughed, “What will the next punishment be like, some light tickling with a goose feather?”  
  
“You should try me.” His voice was gentle, as he sat down beside where she was spread out on the bed. She’d scooted herself towards the pillows, having a difficult time keeping her eyes open. He helped her into his large shirt, smiling when she huffed and groaned sleepily.  
  
How dare he make her exert herself and such, it was fucking adorable.  
  
He lied down, head propped up on his arm as he stared at her. A lone finger trailed from the bridge of her nose, upwards. Her eyelids would close each time he did this, until they eventually remained shut.  
  
“Since when,” she murmured, breathing heavily with sleep. The only thing that kept reality in tact was his light touches. “…did you know that you wanted to be with me?”  
  
“From the moment I first saw you. It was cliché and I waited more than most should, because I knew that you would be perfect.” It was the truth. Jaehwan had waited her out, even when he knew that she and Sanghyuk would gravitate towards one another. He could blame himself for being a coward. The first move had been made by the maknae after all.  
  
She hummed, falling further into slumber, “Mm…”

* * *

**TBC**


	5. When She Was Bad

* * *

Oversized Sweaters _  
_

* * *

_‘Now you find that you’ve been misused,_  
Talk to me, I’ll do what you choose.’ - TCW  
  
Chapter Five: _When She Was Bad_  
  
Jaehwan waited until she’d fallen asleep to grab himself a shower. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it, having taken over her home numerous times in the past. Sometimes he would even go as far as to claim that it was his territory just to get a rise out of her. He gathered her clothes from the floor and walked to the laundry room, whilst removing the rest of his attire.  
  
He’d set everything to be washed, all except for one item. He dangled the cartoon printed underwear in front of his face and mused quietly. She really was too cute. She would probably become too aware of what she was wearing beneath her clothes from now. He walked into the bathroom, basking in the nude, although he disliked being cold for too long.  
  
The soft material in his hand was still wet and the smell of her arousal had set in, as he brought the panties up to his nose, and filled his lungs with a deep breath. The steam from the shower fogged over the mirrors, the spray being scalding hot. The water pounded against his broad shoulders when he stepped in, sore muscles practically sighing in relief, as he stood there.    
  
It didn’t take very long before carnal thoughts started to swarm him, flashes of what had just occurred only moments prior. The way she’d felt in his hands, smooth and receptive. She’d tasted sweet in his mouth, but it coated the back of his throat almost bitterly – too short lived.  He couldn’t get enough of her moaning his name like a mantra, her saving grace. He could still hear it ringing in his ears, breathless and full of need for him.  
  
_‘J-Jaehwan…’_  
  
Chills were running throughout his body as though an electric current replaced the veins beneath his skin. His cock twitched just from the musky scent of her, as it had clung to the fabric of her panties like a perfume. His tongue swept over the cotton, overwhelmed by the impulse to bite into it until his teeth ached. He placed the material in his mouth, settling to use her panties to muffle his sounds instead.  
  
He lathered his body with soap, groaning as he worked strong fingers over sore muscles and knots. She hadn’t even noticed how bad the pain was for him, having been to both dance practice and the gym recently. It was a deception, sure, but there were more important things that he should feel shameful for, like the present. His cock was hard, curved up towards his stomach, thick and pulsating, begging for his attention.  
  
Even with her panties half shoved into his mouth and the floral scented soap coating his skin, he could still smell her. It was utterly intoxicating and filthy. He firmly closed his fist around his cock, pumping with his eyes closed to better imagine what it would be like to take her then. To walk inside her bedroom and kiss her awake, hands roaming over her body, and delving into her warmth. That swollen pink flesh, the tight barrier there, it was all a symbol of her innocence. And she trusted him to destroy and steal it.     
  
She was as pale and pink as a petal and he wanted to be so greedy about it. He rubbed his thumb along the head of his cock, the slit leaking with precum. In his mind, he was merely a bystander, watching as he thrusts into her in the same rhythm as his hand. Her legs were strewn about the mattress, nails biting into his back, as she held onto him closely.  
  
He would be slow at first, seeking forgiveness within the act itself. A low growl escaped into the walls of the shower, echoing harshly as his head fell back. The spray soaked through his platinum blonde hair and the vocalist felt himself becoming attuned and sensitive to every little thing. Droplets of soapy water trailed down the backs of his toned arms, down the back of his legs. His abdomen muscles bounced and tightened, as the next sound he made was guttural, and muffled into the fabric.  
  
It was unnerving, how badly he desired one person. He shivered, as his wrist quickened into hard strokes from the base of his cock to the tip. He envisioned her helpless, pinned down between his chest and the mattress. He was pistoning inside of her, murmuring words of possession – promises that would cut into her more than the intrusion.  
  
In his fantasy, she wasn’t afraid of his apparent darkness. She had begged for more of it.  
  
He closed his teeth around the material in his mouth, gritting tightly as his orgasm swarmed throughout his body, overwhelming him. He stabled himself against the cool tiles with one hand, releasing into his hand in thick spurts.  
  
After rinsing himself off and finishing with his shower, he wrapped himself in the robe on the back of the bathroom door. He placed the washed clothes into the dryer and went to go play a game on her laptop. The Battle.net app was preinstalled from one of his past visits. He’d much prefer to play one of the games on his phone, wherever the hell it was now. _Overwatch_ would have to suffice, while he impatiently waited for the dryer to stop.   
  
When an hour had passed, he put on his briefs, and padded his way into her bedroom. She was curled up into a tiny ball with her hand on the pillow beside her. He turned off the light and carefully slid under the sheets. Carefully, he removed her hand and placed it against his chest, unwilling to release her fingers. They were so small, god help him.  
  
She scooted herself closer to him on instinct, pulled into the warmth radiating from off his skin. Something smelled wonderful the closer she shifted herself and there was something smooth, yet solid beneath her hand. _Ga-guhn, ga-guhn, ga-guhn_ – a pulse was fluttering. A small noise escaped her when she was suddenly being yanked against him.  
  
She closed her arms around his waist, pressing her face into the wall of his chest. He smiled, brushing his fingers through her hair, and drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

There was a buzzing sound in the distance. It shook against the floorboards several times, until it stopped. It was only a few seconds later before it started up again. Jaehwan hadn’t even flinched in his slumber. Unfortunately for her, the barrage of loud vibrations had woke her up. Her phone went off on the table beside her bed. She’d expected it to happen sooner or later, what with Jaehwan ignoring the calls he was receiving.  
  
She grabbed her phone, eyes closed when she slid the bar to answer it. Beyond exhausted, she didn’t bother saying anything, just waited. And she didn’t have to wait very long when a very anxious Cha Hakyeon started speaking, “He’s there, right? Tell me he’s there.”  
  
She merely repeated him, brain still slow to catch up, “He’s here.”  
  
“He’s… wait, he…he slept over?” There was a smile in the leader’s voice then, a proud sense of something she was too sleepy to depict. “I take it you two are chums again or maybe even a little something _more_. How wonderful, now put that little shit on.”  
  
A hand reached out from underneath the blankets and encircled her wrist, bringing the phone up to a pointed ear. She was already back to lightly snoring, lulled by the combination of Hakyeon and Jaehwan’s conversation.  
  
“Yeah, so, I’m always late?” Jaehwan sighed heavily, as the next bit was something he knew very well. There were only a couple rules to follow, not very difficult.  
  
Hakyeon lowered his voice, “Even if she _is_ like family. The rule is that we sleep at the dorm. Do you know how worried I was? That we all were…”  
  
“Did you alert the police? Summon the dogs, have them sniff at my things? Throw together a search party? You do like your parties.” Jaehwan read the time on her phone, cringing. He really was fucking late. “Besides, you knew where I was wandering off to yesterday. I said I had to go collect my sweater.”  
  
“Knowing where you were, that should just exempt you from having to follow the rules? Has that ever worked before?” Hakyeon felt the vein in his head beginning to twitch. “I will crucify you for the amount of worrying that you’ve caused me, for every wrinkle, every grey hair I have gained...”  
  
“That’s just from old age, hyung-nim.” He smiled, playful fits of laughter rumbling in his chest where she was resting. “I promise not to do it again. Mm? Forgive your Jaehwannie…Mm? Mm? Sarang-hae-yom-yom-yom!”  
  
“Tch! You’re the worst.” The leader rolled his eyes, succumbing to the younger man’s aegyo. “Will she be joining us today? I’d really like it if she would…”  
  
“How can you expect me to behave myself if she does?”  
  
“Because if you don’t, I’ll shove my foot up your ass.” He was already texting their manager to let him know of the girl possibly showing up. “I’ll see you soon.”  
  
Jaehwan could hear their manager grumbling in the background, ‘I’m right here. I heard the entire conversation. You didn’t need to text me. Not everything needs to be documented. It was one time, ONE TIME…’ followed by a click.  
  
He leaned over, forcing the girl over onto her back. The vocalist placed her phone on the table and withdrew slowly, fixated on how soft and blissful she looked whilst asleep.  
  
“Do you like sleeping that much?” He brought the sheets tight over his lips, closing the distance for a brief kiss. “More than me?”  
  
Her eyes were kept closed. “No.”  
  
“I need to leave, like three hours ago.” He kissed her again and again. The heat from his mouth could be felt through the thin material. “You can sleep in, but be there before five. I’ll text you the address.”  
  
“Don’t you think it’ll be awkward for me to go?” Her mind was wide awake then. He was inviting her to go watch their live broadcast at a television studio.  
  
His hands brushed along the sides of her face, “Is it awkward, because of Sanghyuk? Maybe, but the sooner he knows, the better. Is it awkward, because you’ll be surrounded by other idols that are better looking than me? Mm, a little.”  
  
She swatted his shoulder and gawked incredulously, “What kind of insecure nonsense is that?”  
  
“My charming rhetoric.” He shook his head at his own words, knowing how ridiculous he was being. “I say words of doubt, because I want you to silence them.”  
  
She took that as a challenge, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. It was firm, as though that would somehow make the sheets between their bodies disappear.     
  
He tugged at her lip, slow to release it, “Are you going to miss me? Or will you dread seeing me once you start remembering every single detail of last night…” He brought his face to the crook of her neck, breathing warm air against her skin.  
  
She scrunched her shoulders up, “W-What! No!”  
  
He drew back with a smile, trailing his hand down the front of her shirt – his shirt, rather. Tugging the material between his fingers, he watched the pink in her cheeks return. “I’ll let you keep this in place of the sweater.”  
  
The shirt signified many things for them. It was monumental at this point.    
  
Jaehwan had difficulty pulling away from her, sluggish and somewhat irritated. She was under the sheets, hiding as he roamed around her house to collect his sweater and take his jeans out of the dryer. He sent the studio’s address to her in a text as promised. He used the items he’d left in her bathroom from past visits, brushing his teeth. A sinking feeling weighed heavily in his chest. She hadn’t thrown anything out when they weren’t speaking to each other.  
  
Maybe she’d been hoping he’d come back.  
  
He called out to her, “I’m leaving!” He’d found his phone on the living room floor, under the couch, and his keys in his jacket pocket.  
  
“Come and kiss me goodbye!” She shouted back, being naked from the waist down made running out to him less than ideal.  Otherwise, she would. She’d have herself draped around him like a human scarf.  
  
He obliged her all too willingly, a sharp smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Standing there in her bedroom doorway, she’d realized that Jaehwan fully clothed was just as deadly as Jaehwan not. He bent down and pressed their mouths together in a kiss that couldn’t have been more than three seconds. Still, her heart was pounding, and she felt dizzy from his closeness.  
  
“Before five,” he said, making a point to remind her. He smoothed her bangs back with his fingers, watching as her eyes closed after the first few strokes.  
  
Beneath the covers, her heartbeat was thundering against her ribcage. Thoughts about sleeping were long gone. He left after another purposefully short kiss. The front door closing was a rather good indication that he was gone. She climbed out of bed and went straight into the bathroom to wash herself.    
  
There were muscles in her body that ached from lack of use, marks on her skin that were admired as keepsakes. Some bruises were deeper than others, where he’d sucked down too hard, or used his teeth. It wasn’t unpleasant and the memories themselves sent heat surging through her.  
  
After getting out of the shower, she tore through her closet. Suddenly now was an appropriate time to start looking fashionable. Jaehwan had seen her while she was sick and heartbroken. Hell – he’d even helped her over the highway divider so she could vomit out the alcohol she couldn’t handle. He’d seen her during some of her most unattractive moments.    
  
She found newer clothes, articles that she’d completely forgotten about. Sometimes she went ‘stress’ shopping with her friend, who usually needed it just as badly. Dating Taekwoon, it was an expected outcome. She chose a pair of black overall shorts and a floral shirt beneath it. Heels were a thing in Korea, but she didn’t want to chance spraining her ankle, deciding on her shiny pair of platforms.  
  
It wouldn’t make her as tall as Jaehwan, but the difference in height would be interesting. All her experience with makeup had been learned through YouTube tutorials. Applying makeup, but looking as natural as possible was also a trend in Korea. She put her wet hair into a French braid and stepped out into the spring air.  
  
She stopped at Starbucks along the way to the studio, ordering according to the preferences that she remembered, even Sanghyuk’s…  
  
It was around four when she arrived at the studio, the building had an outpour of people coming and going. She sent VIXX’s manager a message, letting him know that she was outside. A woman approached her a few moments later, walking her past the secured entryways. It was the same route that idols and staff alike were required to use. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen other idols aside from VIXX.  
  
Most of them were kind. It was very few that she’d found to be unbearably superficial. Not like she’d been given much time to analyze them, but those who were shallow, had been very open about it, even shameless to a certain extent.  
  
The hallway was flooded, looking much like a chaotic nightmare that she was grateful to not be a part of. There was over the top fawning, congratulatory gestures, and ceaseless appraisal that were downright unwarranted. She froze as an unfamiliar female group passed her by, seemingly in slow motion. It gave her the urge to rethink her entire life _erm_ – outfit. What she wore seemed childish now, outdated. She wanted to drop off the drinks and save herself from any further embarrassment.  
  
“Is this all for me? You shouldn’t have.” It was Hakyeon’s gentle voice coming from beside her. She hadn’t even noticed him, until then. He grabbed the drink trays from her hands. “So, you’re Jaehwan’s new girlfriend, hm? It’s so nice to finally meet you. The girl who keeps our Jaehwan from adhering to his schedule…”  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. “What are you doing? I’m in no mood for role-play.”  
  
“Bringing us coffee drinks! How cute. Taekwoon will just love, love, love it.” The teasing had no end on the walk to VIXX’s stage room. Hakyeon placed the drinks on the table, announcing cheerfully, “Jaehwan, your girlfriend is here. You should have told us she was a foreigner.”  
  
Wonshik’s head perked up, mouth parted dubiously. “You’re really going out with Jaehwan?” He blinked at the cup labeled ‘R’. “Please tell me that’s mine.”  
  
“That is yours-” The rapper pulled her into a hug before she had the chance to finish her sentence. Hakyeon joined in, long arms closing around the both of them.  
  
The leader sighed contently, “Isn’t it wonderful? Jaehwan is finally dating someone we approve of, which is not an easy feat between the five of us.”  
  
“The four of us,” Wonshik whispered and she instantly knew why the count had been short one member. “Someone isn’t very happy.”  
  
Someone, right, meaning the tall maknae – she spotted him the moment Hakyeon and Wonshik released her from their group hug. He was seated in one of the chairs in front of the wall length mirror, getting his makeup finished.  
  
She grabbed the drink she’d ordered for him and willed herself to find the courage to confront him. If she were going to be around all of VIXX, it would be in her best interest to make nice. Technically, she and Sanghyuk were friends to begin with, two friends with intense feelings that he threw away first. There really was no reason as to why a friendship couldn’t remain intact. He’d never really wanted her anyway, unless it was to have her dangling on a hook.  
  
His eyes darkened as they met hers in the mirror, following her every move. The sharp action made it all the more difficult to take another step. It was as though he was daring her to do so. _Go on, little mouse, go play with the cat._    
  
“I bought you a drink,” she said, raising the cup in her hand. “It’ll probably be good to have it before your performance.”  
  
His words were clipped, “Mm, probably not.” He placed his phone down and she found it to be a relief that he’d still give her his undivided attention.  
  
“I want to try and salvage what’s left of our friendship.” She set the drink down on the counter, slow and all too cautious of him. “I still care about you, Sanghyuk. I think that I always will, but if you’re not ready to have this conversation, I’ll understand.”   
  
“Yeah,” he said, voice patronizing, “You’re not getting my blessing and I sure as hell won’t be wishing you all the happiness in the world. You and I were never friends. We can’t be…” He swallowed thickly, uttering the last word with evident distaste, “…friends.”  
  
She’d stared at him for so long, focused and quiet, that her vision nearly crossed. _Final answer?_ The question never left her mouth, when a warm arm wrapped around her shoulders, and steered her away from the wreckage that will be known as Sanghyuk from now on.  
  
She was half-expecting it to be Jaehwan, when she was turned towards a text message from her best friend. Taekwoon didn’t say anything, but the look on his face appeared disturbingly eager. She visibly pouted and roamed her eyes over the English. What in the blue hell?  
  
“You’re in the middle of sexting.” She scrunched her face up at him, taking in his passive expression with a substantial amount of disbelief. “How do you feel comfortable showing this stuff to me? It’s a breach of your privacy for a start and my mental wellbeing is at stake here.”   
  
He blinked slowly at her, which was apparently the only answer he was willing to provide her with in typical Taekwoon fashion. At least he was always consistent.  
  
“This whole, freckle, long coat motif…like, what?” She read the paragraph from her friend, commending her for the comma usage. “Uhm, so you’re apparently a purebred horse that is to be punished for escaping the stables? And then she sent you a photo of her cowgirl costume and wants to know if you’re ‘feeling’ it.”     
  
He tucked the phone away into his back pocket and fled the room with a sense of urgency. They really had to stop this, whatever this was, since it was starting to become too fucking weird for all parties involved.  
  
The door was left ajar, idols passing. Jaehwan was walking with his headphones in, focused on whatever mobile game that he was currently playing. He was dressed in blue satin, the material shiny, and fitted. His usually flat hair was crimped just above his eyes. Their stylist retouched the blonde, making the color stand out more against his skin.  
  
She purposefully got in his way, holding in the need to laugh when he stepped to the side. He hadn’t looked to see where he was going or who was stopping him rather, as she matched his sidesteps. A few polite apologies were mumbled in between, but rudely enough, no eye-contact, which meant zero sincerity. He moved and again, she mimicked him. This last time seemed to have rattled him, the screen on his phone clicked off in annoyance.  
  
He ripped out his ear buds and finally stared, eyes softening upon the realization. “Like playing games with me, do you?” The hallway was plenty busy and the two of them were obstructions, standing there with ridiculous smiles on their faces.  
  
She looked down at her shoes, breaking whatever spell he’d casted on her, and confessed, “I do.” She felt the heat from his gaze wherever it travelled, slow and deliberate in its descent, seeming to take in every minute detail. She was too self-aware, holding in her breath. The tension caused by his open scrutiny made her skin burn, as though she housed a fever. But she knew better than that.  
  
Jaehwan was the cause of her current duress. He showed her what he was capable of and she understood then, that he was the one in control. She must’ve accepted it on some primal level that his touch had probably ensured. Placating these urges was useless and she wanted more. So, yes, she liked playing games.  
  
And she would play, so long as he was her opponent. Perhaps he wanted her to be cute like all of these passing girl groups. Being around him, she already felt weak. So, there was no need to pretend or act the role of a flustered teenager in her twenties. It was exciting, thinking about testing his limits. Knowing so little about Jaehwan in this department, she really would have no choice but to play.    
  
She pressed her back against the wall behind her, pale legs turned in with her arms crossed behind her, “Do you not want to play with me, then?”  
  
There, in public, the vocalist was finding it difficult not to cave in and accept her challenge. It was an enticing proposition, since it was something he hadn’t been expecting from her. He tilted his head, humoring the thought of implicating himself just for a taste of her. She had recovered some of her confidence and was bold and dangerous for it.  
  
“You and I should talk privately,” He managed out calmly, before he walked in the opposite direction of VIXX’s stage room. She followed after him, wondering if she could survive being alone with him for any real length of time. Her bravado could only last her so long.  
  
He brought her down corridor after corridor, each hallway becoming less packed than the last. She stepped inside the room he’d entered, the lights were off. He closed the door once she was inside and pressed her back against it firmly. Then it was just her and him and the unbearable silence. She felt closed in, but couldn’t tell if his arms were on either side of her.  
  
There was little light coming from beneath the door, just enough to see the immaculate shine of his shoes. The warmth of his general closeness was dizzying and she could feel him already half hard against her stomach.  
  
She cleared her throat, “You wanted to talk?”  
  
“Did I?” He brought his cool hands to the sides of her neck, tilting her face up to where she would have been able to look directly at him. His fingers drew idle circles on her soft skin, as he leaned down to her height. He drew in a shaky breath, before sealing their mouths together in a gentle caress.   
  
The kiss was sweet and addictive, as she stood up on her toes to apply more pressure. She could taste the gloss on his lips, could smell the oil of his makeup, and _oh_ , how he was made up to be quite pretty. They had to be careful for more than one reason. The fact that he was already semi-erect was an issue all on its own. Then there was the problem of his hair and makeup, when she personally found herself wanting to destroy it all.  
  
The thought of messing him up even more was becoming exhilarating, especially when he was easy for her, careening, and moaning as though he, himself wanted to get caught. His hands tightened around her throat, as the kiss grew deeper, hungrier. She parted her lips at the first swipe of his tongue, gasping into him.  
  
She finally willed her arms to move around him, fisting the blue coat he was wearing. A hand left her skin to search the wall for a switch. He released her with a playful tug of his teeth. The room had come to life from the overhead lighting. It was an empty stage room. Not that it particularly mattered at the present, no – not with the way he was looking at her then.  
  
“What was it you said to me again? Do you not want to play with me?” She sank against the surface behind her, awaiting his touch. She could even settle for him taunting her all day if he so wished. He cupped the side of her face roughly, forcing her to meet his eyes. They were blue from the contact lenses he was wearing. “I can’t play with you here, but I want to though. You know that I would...”  
  
“I know that I’d like to try something.” She placed her hand on the top of his own, where her cheek was currently pressed into his palm. “I’ve been thinking about it all day, actually. What it would feel like, taste like. I was thinking of how good it would make you feel…” She caught his pointer finger and brought it along the curve of her bottom lip. “…and how good that would make me feel.”  
  
Her eyes fluttered closed, as she felt her skin grow hot beneath his gaze. The silence was going to swallow her whole and the charade would be over. Her confidence was wearing thin already. He pressed his thumb into her cheek, waiting impatiently. She could sense it in the way his breathing hitched.  
  
“I want your cock in my mouth,” she finally said, somewhat ashamed of her confession, which made it all the more endearing to him. “I want to touch you, until you’re broken.” _Just like you broke me_ , she wanted to add, but refrained. “The sounds you made, they haven’t left me at all.”  
  
“My, my, what kind of monster have I created? You’re absolutely perfect…” He teased, despite having the impulse to give her exactly what she wanted from him. “But we can’t, not here, not now. I’m about to see my Starlight babies.”  
  
“Finally a game you can’t play,” She said, before closing her lips around the digit that she held captive.  
  
He narrowed his dark eyes at her then, “There’s a difference between wanting to play and not being able to. We have a signing event afterwards. I won’t be able to see you, until after.” He hissed at the first touch of her soft tongue, as it ran across the back of his finger. The press of her teeth kept him place. “Mm… when I get home, I want you dressed in this outfit. The shoes, the overalls, even your hair just as it is.”  
  
His long body leaned into hers, thumb and middle digit closing over her chin, as she sucked at the tip of his index finger. Her cheeks were flushed and hollowed as she applied more pressure. He was transfixed, eyes ablaze with unmasked hunger. He had doubted that she was ready. A part of him still wanted to take things slowly, for her sake.  
  
Now all he could do was make promises and show her things he hoped she’d never use on another living soul.  
  
She had no idea how much she affected him, which is why it would have been safer if she hadn’t attended, but Hakyeon insisted. He abruptly withdrew his finger and grabbed her by the face so that her cheek was pinned to the door. The angle revealed the elegant line of her neck and he could see the marks he’d left from last night.  
  
They were pretty, because they were his, those bruises belonged to him – she belonged to him.  
  
Her entire body was trembling, craving for something she barely understood. His reaction made her feel victorious, somehow. He pressed his mouth against her ear, “Do you feel this?” His hips rocked against her to better emphasize his problem. “Now I have to go out on stage like this, thinking of how I’d rather be fucking your mouth.”  
  
She shuddered, all too tempted to brush up further against him. The thought of his reaction, to make him come, would be her undoing. He slowly released her to smooth his hands over his outfit. He turned towards the mirror, checking his makeup, not too disheveled. He ran his pinkie finger beneath each eye.  
  
The fitted satin slacks he was wearing wouldn’t be able to hide his obvious erection. He’d even shown through his pants when he hadn’t been hard. He’d made a remark about it the first time he tried them on, but apparently that was a good thing. Now it was going to be a horrifying thing – a thing he hoped his mother wouldn’t notice whilst it was being broadcasted on live TV.  
  
“Having you here really is a distraction for me,” Jaehwan said, perhaps colder than he would have liked it to have come out, but it was the truth.  
  
“Should I have stayed home, then?”     
  
His voice grew quiet then, “No.” He straightened his walk, as he approached her. The guilt was evident, as he gently ran his fingers along her braid, petting her. She leaned into his touch, staring up at his handsome face. Since he’d already fixed himself, she decided not to make things worse for him.  
  
“We should head back.” His words were practically forced, like a line he’d recited over and over again at the back of his mind, until he was confident. It was the words he should have said five or ten minutes ago, but he simply couldn’t.  
  
He wanted to grab her hand and walk with her to the room, but he had to behave while they were in the hallways. He could feel his own skin burning up. He was a creature of impulse and prone to making mistakes. Being human would do that, but Christ, it made him uncomfortable. He avoided looking at her and pretended that the hard line at the front of his pants wasn’t at all visible.  
  
A couple of stage crew members were walking by with heavy equipment, one of the bulkier lifters nearly toppling the girl over, if not for Jaehwan quickly pulling her to his side. He cursed under his breath and proceeded, somewhat aggressively down the hallway. The rest of VIXX were by the headsets, getting them fitted and taped to their skin.  
  
She stood back, as their manager took photos, and videos – grabbing whatever they could for the next episode of VIXX TV. Jaehwan stared at her for a long moment, sending shivers throughout her body from the intensity of it. Then he was gone, walking with VIXX to the stage to perform _Dynamite_.  
  
There was a place off to the side where she could watch next to a couple of stragglers. The lights flashed and again, she was perturbed by Ravi’s English lyrics. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen VIXX live, goodness no, however her focus had now shifted. Jaehwan’s voice was powerful, when speaking or singing. She’d noticed it before, always finding herself impressed by him. Leo’s voice was powerful and different in its own right. Her eyes had always been strained on Sanghyuk, watching him as though only he existed.  
  
It was as though she’d been living in some monochromic hell, until she heard Jaehwan just then.  He brought her world back to technicolor. It was vivid and beautiful, as she stood there awestruck and immobilized. The song had an uplifting tone to it, but the choreography was fun, and mesmerizing. The personas of the men she knew had changed, VIXX’s distinct Clark Kent mode gone in the wind.  
  
Ah, hell, she could not stay. This was dangerous. That was her boyfriend…b-boyfriend? What the hell were they? That was a man who had his fingers and tongue all over her body last night. Nothing was safe.  
  
She briskly walked back to VIXX’s stage room and collected her bag. Their performance would be over soon and they’d have to stick around for the end of the show. The wind was cold when she stepped outside, finding that it was easier for her to breathe. Flashes of blonde hair and pale skin haunted her every step of the way.  
  
What the hell was she to do? It wasn’t like she could just blink away the stars in her eyes. It was safe to assume that she was utterly biased at this point. How would she survive whatever was to occur later on this evening?  
  
She took out her phone, pressing on her small friend’s name. “Hey – let’s make arrangements for my funeral. I was thinking an open casket, chrysanthemums, and grapefruit tarts…” 

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**TBC**


	6. Indulging His Demons

**A/N:** Firstly, thank you for all the views, subscriptions, kudos, and comments. I really do appreciate it. I know that HET is not a very popular genre when it comes to Kpop. Now, I want you to know that this chapter was very difficult for me to write. I'm not good with certain descriptions or scenarios, so I really did try my best and I hope you all enjoy it.

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Oversized Sweater

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 _‘Don’t care if he’s guilty_  
_Don’t care if he’s not._  
_He’s good and he’s bad and he’s all that I got._ ’ - TCW  
  
Chapter Six: _Indulging His Demons_  
  
Time was cruel, as it seemed to be working against her. It was going by way too damn fast and she’d jumped at every sound her phone made, various texts from her family and friends. She’d been afraid of what to expect from the contact listed as ‘Jaehwan Oppa’. She’d left abruptly, which was rude, since she hadn't said goodbye. Even Hakyeon had the decency to ask, ‘what the hell?’  
  
_Yeah, what the hell, indeed…_     
  
She went to her room and lied back against the pillows, phone in hand with the YouTube app up. She knew this was going to end up being a big mistake, but she was curious. There were pages upon pages of Jaehwan fan cams. _Oh, Chained Up._ Well, _that_ , that isn’t a whole outfit. Black suits, collars, and body rolls.  
  
_Dear god_ , did he always sweat so much? Was his pitch always that high? She placed the phone down and rolled over, legs closed tightly against the heat she felt there. His voice was at the back of her mind, a memory from last night that she wouldn’t soon forget, _‘You will know of nothing, except me.’_ How right he’d been and how pleased would he be to know of that fact?  
  
She unbuttoned the one side of her overalls and turned over onto her back. One arm was strewn above her head, imagining that he was the one to have pinned it there. He had been her first experience with well – anything sexual. The way she wanted it, liked it, were all determined by him and what his body had taught hers.    
  
And she liked being pinned down. She enjoyed his rough caresses, the way he’d held her by her neck. She trembled, as she mimicked every acknowledgment, traveling from her throat to the swell of her breasts. Her body was responding, aching dully at the pit of her stomach. The sounds of _Chained Up_ live was still playing, as she dipped her other hand beneath her overalls, whispering her nails across the soft skin on her stomach, heading lower.  
  
Her touch wasn’t quite the same as his, as she curved her fingers into the fabric of her panties, rubbing over her clit in slow circles. She thought of how deliberate, how skilled every stroke of his tongue and fingers had been – how it nearly set her ablaze. She had little control in comparison, pressing two fingers up hard, trapping the hood of her clit between them.  
  
“J-Jaehwan…” She gasped out shakily with her eyes shut and cheeks burning hot. She had little time to truly feel ashamed of herself. He was belting through the speakers on her phone and behind her eyelids, she could make out every detail of his sinful existence. The way he smelled and tasted, like a chai latte, both spicy and sweet.  
  
The arm above her head closed tightly in the pillows, knuckles turned bone white when she sped up the pace of her fingers. The sweat from between her thighs coupled by the slickness of her arousal caused the line of her panties to cling to her shape. Her toes pushed into the mattress, as she rocked her hips against her palm, murmuring his name helplessly.  
  
So close, then. So, _s-s-o-o-oh…_  
  
“That’s it…” came the familiar voice from her bedroom door. So, he was back to letting himself in, was he? She’d nearly ripped her hand out from beneath her overalls. Her heart was thundering hard in her chest, as she sat upright. He uncrossed his arms, only further adding to the notion that he’d been standing there for far too damn long. “Oh, please, don’t stop on my account. You were just about to come, gasping my name.”  
  
He’d heard her. How terribly mortifying.  
  
He stalked further inside her bedroom, steps slow, and presaging. It made her even more nervous, especially since he was looking at her as though she were in serious trouble. He was fresh from the shower, having stopped back at the dorm no doubt. His blonde hair was lying flat and he was wearing a pair of his thick prescription glasses. He licked at his lips, head tilting to the side to get a better look at her.  
  
“First you leave me without saying goodbye. And that was after tempting me to risk my spotless, loveable reputation. Now you’re here, touching yourself…” He paused, eyes flickering down to her phone. His heart swelled at the realization, that she’d been surfing YouTube for fan cams of him. She was quick to grab the phone, attempting to turn it off, but it was too late.  
  
She knew he'd already figured it out.  
  
He sat down on the bed, capturing her wrist non-too-gently, and forcing her to drop the phone into his palm. It was the same hand she’d been using to get herself off with. He stared into her eyes, holding her gaze when he brought her middle and index finger into the hot cavern of his mouth. He was slow to release each digit, the flat of his tongue flicking between them.  
  
The ache in her stomach grew tight, watching his too pink lips sucking around her fingers, before dropping them to his lap. She couldn’t move a single muscle, immobile and tense from both anxiety and desire. His face was a cool mask of indifference, unnerving.  
  
He leaned in suddenly, voice soft when he spoke to her, “Stand up and go over to the wall.”  Their breaths mingled, he was so close to her then. Just a little closer and she would be able to taste him – she wanted to, but refrained from doing so, to do as he’d instructed.  
  
She stood up from the bed and faced the wall in front of her. A few moments later she heard the video she’d been watching, followed by the sound of him chuckling low to himself. Her skin flushed visibly, eyes closed, as she tried not to get overly annoyed by his obvious attempt to humiliate her. He watched the video all the way through, before setting the phone down, and directing his attention towards her again.  
  
“Spankings can be one of two things, a punishment, or a reward. At first, it might seem like I’m punishing you.” He pulled his sweater up over his head, the charms on his necklace clanging together. “The pain from being bent over, whether it’s over my knee or…” He was behind her then, pressing his palm against her lower back, and bending her at the waist. “…just like this, will be nothing, _nothing_  in comparison to the sting of my hand.  
  
“But you will find that along with pain, comes pleasure. Soon you will learn to thank me, wishing to be rewarded with that same pain.” She braced her hands against the wall, feeling her entire body tremble at the dark promise of his words. “As for me, it’ll be gratifying either way.”  
  
He reached beneath her arm and undid the other buckle on her overalls, careful not to touch her more than what was necessary. The front of the jean material fell loose and he took his time unbuttoning the opposite side. She stepped out of the overalls when they’d hit the floor. The position was starting to hurt her back, teeth worrying her bottom lip as the tension nearly swallowed her whole.  
  
“You look so smooth,” he commented, as he took note of the newly exposed skin. He released a heavy sigh, remembering how it felt to have her beneath him, the way she felt in his hands, and trapped against his mouth. In the end, he knew that he’d be the one more afflicted by his self-restraint. He already hated himself to some degree. “Tell me. Why am I punishing you?”  
  
He curved a finger into the waistband of her panties, tugging the lace past her legs, until they were off. Her thighs closed tightly and he could tell that she was focusing on his movements, more than the question. Why else would there be such a long pause before her next breath? He was chuckling again, whispering the tips of his fingers down the back of her right thigh. Her body shook with chills from his light touches. Again and again – he’d managed it.  
  
She gasped, “B-Because I tempted you.”  
  
“That was the biggest offense of the evening, you’re right, but there were two other _atrocities_.” He shifted, wanting to save the lace panties from the floor, and start a collection. The last woman he had in this position ran away and made sure to conveniently disappear from his life. This one here, his precious girl, he’d never allow to vanish. He’d keep all the scary bits to himself for now and fess up to them later, perhaps in a _confessional_ the next time he was itching to attend church.  
  
“Although, it’s not nearly as dramatic as you’re putting it, calling them ‘atrocities’, the hell even…” He calmly drew his arm back at her response. The impact of his palm meeting the tender flesh of her backside made her mouth fall slack with silent shock. There was a warm sensation spreading along the abused skin, a light pink that reminded Jaehwan that the color could be – _should_ be darker.  
  
“Two more atrocities, go on…” He licked at his suddenly dry lips, not at all surprised that he was already hard beneath his jeans. Admittedly, no one had ever given him this much satisfaction. She could control him if she truly wanted to, which only made him feel uncomfortable. She would one day learn that confidence was to be gained on her part. Right now, she was just a timid, anxious little thing, and he loved every moment of it.  
  
“I left before saying goodbye-a-ah!” She cried out, startled when he’d brought his hand down at the end of her sentence, swift in the action, biting into the opposite cheek firmly. A few more sharp slaps made her skin tingle, as though it were attracting all the warmth in the room. He rubbed his hands over her reddened ass, grabbing and kneading each cheek soothingly.   
  
“One more.” His voice was deeper, breathing audibly hitched and uneven. He was gently touching her, watching the outline of each hand print fade into a deep pink that was all too stark and pretty against her pale skin. She could feel how wet she was, when she’d shifted from one foot to the other.  
  
She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the impulse to hide somewhere to escape the humiliation, “I touched myself, while watching you.”   
  
“It’s the least offensive atrocity, I suppose.” He cupped her ass roughly, the bare skin still burning from the abuse. She arched against him with both hands high above her head, as she slunk further down. The cool air hit her soaked pussy and she gasped involuntarily when he spread her wide between his long fingers. “Mm, you’re practically dripping. Did you like that, princess?”  
  
_‘Was it more of a punishment or a reward?’_ He wanted to ask her, but he’d keep his smart ass comments to himself for now. It was still a new experience for her, perhaps too advanced for a virgin.   
  
He reached for her clasped hands on the wall and turned her to face him. The force of each movement had her feeling quite like a ragdoll, which wasn’t altogether bad. She was vulnerable, bound by his truth. She'd teetered between pain and pleasure, like he’d insisted she would. He gripped her shirt at the hem and pulled it off.  
  
The straps of her bra fell naturally, having not been adjusted properly. That's what happened when she threw on new lacey bra and panty sets. He tugged the bra down by the middle fabric, threatening to tear it off completely, until it was situated beneath her full breasts. And although her body was bare for him to take in, he was staring directly into her eyes.  
  
Her face exposed more than her body ever could, what with her nose slightly pink, and her lips swollen. The initial sting of each slap had made her eyes glossy with tears – he could see that now. He stepped further into her space, pressing her against the wall. A single finger ran over the curve of her bottom lip, watching it quiver slightly.    
  
Then he was stepping away from her, leaving her with only the ghost wound from his touch. She could still feel it, as she followed after him. He sat on the edge of her mattress, arms sliding along the sheets, as he stared at her from beneath long, dark lashes. The way he’d parted his legs was all too suggestive. Even without him having to say so, she knew what he wanted, what he was practically begging for.  
  
She’d gotten herself into this situation and she had no particular desire to get out of it. Steeling herself, she decided that she could be just as bad, she could be Jaehwan’s equal. She pressed her hands into his thighs and leaned forward, staring at his full lips, quirking a smile at him as though he were something lesser.  
  
Not worthy, Jaehwan, not worthy at all. And although she wanted to so badly claim that wicked mouth, she sat back on her heels, and lowered herself to her knees. The wooden floor was unkind, but the spoils of war would make it worth it.    
  
“How does it feel, having oppa give you what you want?” His eyebrow twitched, amusement clear on his handsome face, but she could tell that he was still somewhat anxious for her sake. No matter how turned on he was, which was beyond evident from the outline of his cock pressing tightly through his jeans.  
  
“I’ll show you how it feels…” She said, as she palmed him through the rough material, able to feel the warmth of his skin. He sucked at his bottom lip, teeth digging into his flesh to keep from hissing at the small amount of contact.  
  
He’d been appraised in his time, for being well endowed. Praised and cursed at, enviable. He enjoyed watching women choke around his cock, the way their saliva made him a mess. A better, more experienced woman could take him all the way to the base, remembering to breathe through their nose. He’d had younger women gag and reel back to heave prettily for him, claiming that he was too big.  
  
The girl before him was the picture of innocence, moving her hand along him in slow, uneven strokes. She wasn’t skilled, but he found the entire situation to be painfully erotic. He’d been elated about punishing her and finding her sopping wet, but her exploration of him was far more arousing to him. The first, her _only_ – he conceded quietly to himself.  
  
“Could you come just from this?” She asked, referring to the way she was touching him through his jeans.  
  
He stared at her seriously, “I could.”  
  
She pulled at the belt he was wearing, unbuckling, and pulling at it until it was free. It probably wouldn’t be easy to humiliate him or make him feel insecure, given his experience. Jaehwan already appeared to be confident about his body. She wanted to make a decent effort though. This person was hers, after all, and she’d never had a whole person before.  
  
It made her feel giddy and all sorts of ridiculous. She covered her face for a moment, attempting to recover, before undoing the button of his jeans, and slowly unzipping them.  
  
She played with the hem of his shirt, “Are you ticklish?”  
  
“We’ve been friends for how long and you don’t even know the answer?” He seemed offended, glaring at her through his blonde bangs. “Try me and find out.”  
                               
She drew the shirt over his chest, taking in the expanse of his toned, pale skin. In the summer, he’d be tan again, but for now she could appreciate how much like porcelain he appeared then. Her fingers spread over his skin, feeling how solid and warm he was beneath each curious touch. It was when she scratched along his side that a chill visibly shook him, a breathless laugh bursting from him from the acknowledgment.  
  
He was sensitive, at least. It was absurdly attractive in her opinion. Although she hadn’t thought to focus on them, his nipples were hard, and drawing her attention. She planted her hands on the bed beside his hips, leaning between his thighs so she could close her mouth around one of his erect buds, eliciting a throaty moan from the vocalist.  
  
He abandoned clutching the sheets to weave his long fingers through the braid of her hair, tugging almost painfully at the roots. To pull her away or hold her closer, he had no idea anymore, submitting to the hot warmth of her lips. When she circled him with the point of her tongue, he’d raised his hips uncomfortably, needing more. The sounds he was making only encouraged her further.  
  
She grazed her teeth over him, remembering how biting seemed to be a thing he enjoyed. The way he sucked in his breath and pulled on her hair went straight to her core. She was getting off on treating him, like she knew would happen. It was just a bonus that it was easier than she thought it would be.   
  
He shuddered, “When you do that…” The rest of what he was trying to say died on his lips, when she lowered her hand to the visible bulge against his jeans.  
  
“It’s warmer than before…”  
  
He groaned, letting his head fall back. “And making a mess, no doubt.”  
  
“I wanna see it…” She said, as she pulled away, hands in his jeans. The bold comment left a lump in his throat that he couldn’t get rid of, brain eventually catching up with him when he raised his hips for her, and allowed her to tug them down. The pants he was wearing were so tight that they’d almost taken his fitted boxers down with them.  
  
The thickness of his cock was more obvious through the thin white and black marbled cotton, which made her pause for a moment. There was a wet spot where he’d leaked precum, the muscles in his thighs jumping when she touched a curious finger to the damp material. Something within her had changed, as she found herself overwhelmed by the sudden notion that she _must_ do these things, because nothing would be more satisfying than to watch him come undone.  
  
Wanting someone so badly shouldn’t have been foreign to her. She’d desired Sanghyuk for what had seemed like an eternity. It could have been the maknae beneath her hands then, instead of Jaehwan. She wondered if she would have craved or physically needed Sanghyuk to the same intense extent.  
  
The main vocalist was the embodiment of everything she wasn’t. The act of having him was the same as shedding an old skin. Through being with Jaehwan, she was beginning to realize that she was broken without him. Experience is life and he’d practically spoon fed it to her. She leaned forward, ghosting her hot breath over the length of his cock.  
  
He curled his fingers into the sheets, eyes downcast and accusatory, “How long do you intend to keep playing with me?”  
  
She closed her mouth over him through the cotton, effectively silencing him. Another shudder fell on him, as his teeth ground together to bite back a rather harsh retort that would have only revealed his impatience. The flat of her tongue ran upwards along his clothed length, testing out the rhythm, texture, and taste.  
  
It was when a particularly loud whine left the back of his throat, that his briefs joined the floor with his jeans. Although Jaehwan wasn’t clean shaven, he was still neatly trimmed, and well-kept. She eyed him from her position between his thighs, mimicking what she’d done just moments prior, running her tongue across the hot skin of his cock.   
  
She’d watched porn before, admittedly the blowjobs were not the most interesting part of the whole performance, but she knew well enough that there was more to just licking and sucking. There were dirty words and moans of encouragement. Ball cupping and self-touching (probably why he’d left her breasts out), things she wasn’t quite so confident in doing. And yet, he looked as though he were dying a blissful death.  
  
“Already?” She asked, deciding to go for it. Go big or go home. “But I’ve barely even touched you, Jaehwan, isn’t that right? I’ve only been playing with you.”  
  
He was so incredibly soft – warm to the touch, smooth on her tongue, and sensitive to every little thing. She blew at the wet trail of saliva coating the base of his shaft to the tip, watching it twitch on its own. His suffering was starting to become a not-so secret pleasure of hers. Her fingers closed around him, bringing his cock from the flat of his stomach, to the curve of her mouth.  
  
She hummed, pressing a small kiss against the head of his cock. “I’ve been bad today, so why should I be a good girl now? Why should I behave when I’ve been spanked?”  
  
He arched a brow at her, spurred on by her daring behavior. “The real question is why did I stop there? Perhaps I was too lenient with you. After all, a good girl would have learned her lesson, instead of resenting her punishment.”  
  
The vocalist sat up abruptly, both of his large hands grabbing her face almost cruelly, as he forced her to stare up at his face. He pressed his thumbs into her soft skin, the pressure hard enough to feel the bones beneath them.  
  
“Show me that I can forgive you.” He stared at the pink of her lips, before meeting her eyes, heated and raw. “I know that you can be a good girl.” Then he was back to watching her mouth and the way it parted when his thumb slowly dragged from her top to bottom lip. “Mm – my sweet girl, my little princess, come on. Show me.”  
  
She’d successfully rattled him and maybe she would have felt frightened, if she hadn’t been so thoroughly turned on by the whole ordeal. She tightened her hold on his cock, the two watching each other closely, as she started moving her wrist in a circular motion. Not all of him was able to fit inside her palm when she tried closing her fingers around him, but he seemed to enjoy it all the same.  
  
He settled back down against the mattress, mouth parted almost shamelessly. Every stroke was rewarded with another shaky sigh or gasp. She roamed her other hand along his inner thigh, grazing his skin with her nails. Each caress inched further up, dipping along his hipbone, and over his lower abdomen. Even if Jaehwan wasn’t ticklish ( _she was able to remember now_ ), he was still doomed with high sensitivity.     
  
And she was damned eager to test his limits, committed to her cause, skimming her fingertips back down to where her other hand was still working around him. Just below the base of his cock, she started gently massaging over his perineum, and watched as his hands twisted and yanked hard at the sheets. A desperate cry suddenly burst from him and she decided to wreck his world even further, finally covering her mouth over the head of his cock.  
  
He was shaking beneath her, muscles tensed, and body arched restlessly. Jaehwan was known for being loud, whiney even, but there was something so wildly arousing about the guttural sounds he was making then. He needed to be wet, more than he already was, so she swirled her tongue around him in circles. Real lubricant would need to go on the shopping list. Gathering her saliva, she let it to drip on him messily, sweeping it up with her hand, and spreading it along his shaft.  
  
She wanted to ask what he liked, but the words couldn’t come out. That would mean acknowledging that Jaehwan had a sexual past, which wasn’t something she wanted to get into at the moment. Not while she was sucking lewdly around his cock, both hands clasped firmly around him for every stroke, catching every nerve ending from top to bottom. She released him with a wet ‘pop’, repeating the action over and over again.  
  
“You’re _too fucking_ good at this…” He practically purred, stomach growing tight as he watched her take him deep inside her mouth. Her cheeks were a flush of pink and hollowed from the suction. There was only a flicker of satisfaction for him when she pulled up for air, gasping and choking around his length. Her lips were swollen, clear evidence of her fervor, that and the fact that he was dirtied from the precum and her saliva.  
  
“You’re _too fucking_ pretty like this,” she retorted mockingly, as she lowered her head to tease over his balls. He nearly jumped in surprise, body covered in chills from the warmth and pleasure from her mouth. Any objection he could have thought of died then, erased from this world. Her hands found the perfect rhythm, to which he steadily rocked his hips upwards into it, groaning tirelessly.  
  
She rested her elbows on the tops of his thighs, the pain rather suitable for him when she closed her mouth tightly around him in tandem with her wrist. Her other hand was on his stomach, feeling the muscles bounce and tense up in response to the friction. She breathed in through her nose when his cock hit the back of her throat, eager to do well, she slowly came back up to suck greedily at the head of his shaft.  
  
A few firm, hard strokes and he felt that he was dangerously close to coming. Verbalizing it hadn’t done him any good, as she refused to let up. It wasn’t until he physically grabbed her that she’d stopped to stare up at him innocently, as though she had no idea what she’d just done – as though she hadn’t completely destroyed him. He made her stay on her knees, finishing himself off with a strangled moan. He came in hot, thick spurts on her chest, one hand gripping at the back of her neck, keeping her still until he was done.  
  
She was about to touch a curious finger to the mess, when he was already picking up his shirt from the floor, and wiping it off of her. He tossed it aside unceremoniously, pulling his brief shorts back up, but leaving his jeans undone. Then he was sinking to the floor in front of her, reading her quietly, _knowingly_. She was beyond aroused at this point, the small telltales was like sweetness to him. There were plenty of factors that contributed to her plight, be it the humiliation, the spanking, or having been in control of him for all of twenty minutes – he fucking _knew_ it.  
  
He reached behind her to untangle the braid in her hair, since his immature musings were over. He would put her cuteness to bed for the evening, seeking something else. He resumed his previous hold on the back of her neck and brought her close, a breadth away from being able to kiss, but stared at her instead. Perhaps it was just a small act of domination, a mindless habit that he’d find himself doing, even out in public.  
  
Dangerous, careless little thoughts.  
  
The vocalist tilted her head back, exposing the delicate line of her throat. “I want you so badly, I could hurt you for it.” The pulse there was pounding visibly, each time he watched it flutter, he felt his patience chipping away. His tongue was hot, as it trailed from the base of her neck to just below her ear. His mouth brushed her skin when he spoke, “I think I might.”  
  
He eased her against the floorboards, arms cradling her gently, despite his promise of treating her the complete opposite. The hard pressure of his tongue working over her skin was both firm and ticklish, causing her shoulders to scrunch up. She brought her hand around him, a hand in his blonde hair to pull him closer to her neck.  
  
“Hold yourself for me.” He roamed his hands down the length of her body, skimming his nails over her pert breasts, and down her stomach. It took her a moment to realize what he meant, when he shifted himself between her thighs.  
  
He watched as she gripped the back of her legs, spreading herself for him like he requested. Tilting his head at her with the barest of smiles tugging at his full lips, he cooed, “Embarrassed?” The flush of her skin gave it away, even if she wouldn’t respond to him. He chuckled low to himself, brushing his mouth against her inner thigh. “You’ll forget all about it in a moment.”  
  
He traced a lone finger from the hood of her clit down to her entrance, teasing the tense area in circles, before slowly pushing inside. A mess had been forming since she’d left the studio and progressively grew worse when she’d watched the fan cams. She hadn’t finished herself off when he caught her. The spanking session coupled by pleasuring him had made her overly sensitive and left her damn near dripping with arousal.  
  
She could hear every thrust of his finger, in and out, maddeningly loud in the quiet room. He pressed down into her, making her feel full without the girth of his cock, and sank another digit in deeply. Her entire body trembled, as every flick of his expert hand made her realize how badly she needed the release. The ache at the pit of her stomach unfurled, walls closing tightly around his fingers.  
  
It would be so easy to get her off, he realized, noticing that she was positively swollen. He soothed over her with the flat of his tongue, groaning appreciatively at the taste of her, wanting more. He withdrew his fingers to spread her even wider for him. His nose was buried against her, crushing her clit when he delved the thick, velvety muscle into her glistening heat.  
  
She felt herself jolt in response to every intrusion, crying out. He inhaled deeply against her, angling his face so that he could strum his fingers over her at the same quickened pace as his mouth. The arch of her back made him hold off, drawing it out for as long as he could manage it, sucking at her swollen flesh, and nipping at the undersides of each leg.  
  
Her lips parted when he pressed two fingers against them, sliding the long digits along her pink tongue with a cruel glare. He’d given her a taste, before thrusting them into her pussy, curving upwards, and dragging the most obscene noises from her. He allowed her hips to squirm and buck to further grind herself into the tight pressure of his mouth.  
  
He watched her from beneath his dark lashes, eyes as black as coal as her expression fell into one of utter bliss. Her orgasm ran through her legs and to her core, crashing over her in hard, intense pulses and waves. The vocalist cleaned her with long, generous strokes of his tongue, whilst his fingers worked her until her walls stopped clenching around them.  
  
For awhile they lied there, simply watching one another. Jaehwan should have felt ashamed, stripping her layer by layer, until she was raw beneath him. She was vulnerable and sensitive and he wanted to piece her back together and break her all over again. The hammering in her chest served as a clear indication, that perhaps she was frightened of him. He licked at his already moist lips and climbed atop of her.  
  
“Are you afraid of me?” He found himself asking just to be sure. Women in his life suddenly leaving, was too common an occurrence. He gently kissed her lips, lingering so that their mouths remained touching. He swallowed thickly, worried when she didn’t respond right away. “Tell me.”  
  
“No.” She touched the tips of her fingers to his cheek. “I’m not afraid.”    
  
He closed his eyes, kissing her softly. She wound her arms around him, moaning when he slid his tongue past her lips, starting a rhythm that had her hips moving again. It was five minutes later that he had her undone, trapped beneath the strength of his arms with a knee wedged between her thighs.

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**TBC**


	7. The Goblin King

**NOTES:** Alright, so I told myself that this chapter was going to be the last and final chapter, but **it is not the last chapter. ** It's just that as I was writing the last chapter, it had become really friggin' long. That being said, the next chapter will be the final chapter. Let's move onto the important part of these notes, which is **my sincerest gratitude towards anyone who has taken the time to comment, bookmark, subscribe, or kudos this work**. I had an inkling that it would not be overly popular, but I'm happy that there are people who gave it a shot. I have no VIXX stan friends, except the one I am writing this story for (be my friend ._.) Also, I used some words in the smut scene for this chapter that I wouldn't typically use. I was yelled at when I considered removing it to make it more  _tasteful._ I'm seriously no good when it comes to dirty talk. I am trash, like legit garbage, and not the good kind (because there is a good kind). Look at the end of this chapter for more notes. I love you guys. 

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Oversized Sweater

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There's _such a sad love  
Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel  
Open and closed within your eyes  
I'll place the sky within your eyes_  
_– Labyrinth_  
  
Chapter Seven: _The Goblin King_  
  
Jaehwan wasn’t happy when he shuffled his sock covered feet across the dorm floors. He’d left his girlfriend in bed, alone, all so that Hakyeon could see his face, before he took off again. VIXX had a schedule today, but not until much later. Things would only become more hectic the deeper they delved into their promoting period. They aimed to release three new mini-albums within the year.  
  
He turned on the coffee pot, making himself useful in the meantime. It was six in the morning and their leader would be up any moment. Sipping on the fresh brew, he skimmed over the Twitter feed on his phone. Fan art, confessions, and photos alike flooded his _Mentions._ That is why Starlights were considered his babies, his one true love, was it?  
  
Unconditional love was one of those sacred things to Jaehwan, like a truth that he could not so easily abandon.  
  
He placed his phone down and shed his clothes in the bathroom for a shower. The vocalist took the first five minutes to stand beneath the spray, allowing the water to pound against his sore shoulders and back muscles. Towel drying his hair, he stepped back into the kitchen to find Hakyeon at the table, drinking his coffee with slow, casual sips.  
  
“You’re up early.” The elder barely lifted his gaze from his cup. “Or are you just getting in?” There was a notable chill to Hakyeon’s tone, making it difficult for the vocalist to be dishonest, especially when he was being called out on his bullshit.  
  
Jaehwan brushed his knuckles over the surface of their table, skimming faintly. “Let me enjoy my time with her.” He heard the sharp intake of air from Hakyeon, speaking up before he could say anything against it. “I’m rarely selfish, _hyung-nim_.”  
  
“I don’t like it when you paint me as the evil dictator, _Jaehwan_. I’m not trying to fight with you. In fact, I refuse to argue over this matter.” The leader flashed him a smile, dark lips, and perfectly white teeth. “I love you both and I love that you two are together, but you will abide by the dorm rules like the good little boy that you have always been for me. Well, for the most part, anyway.”  
  
Hakyeon licked the coffee from his lips and stood in a graceful manner that only he seemed to possess. He wasn’t quite as tall as Jaehwan, but he was still intimidating nonetheless.  
  
“I take it you were on your way back out?” He adjusted the collar of Jaehwan’s button up, making a show of if by being deliberately slow in the action. “If you’re late, Jaehwan…”  
  
“Oh, ye of little faith.” The blonde placed a hand against his chest, as though scorned and covering up his wound. Hakyeon merely smirked, watching the main vocalist saunter away.  
  
It was still early when Jaehwan unlocked the door to her home. Looking around at how empty the place was, he was overwhelmed by the prospect of filling it. And it wasn’t as though it were lacking anything decorative or standard furnishings. The emptiness he noticed was something else entirely. She would soon come to realize that being with him is a lonely path, as it was with any idol.  
  
_‘We should have a child,’_ he mused inwardly, placing his keys on the kitchen table, and walking down the hallway to her bedroom. While going over the various breeds of dogs and cats alike in his mind, he stripped out of his hooded sweatshirt and threw off his socks. She was still asleep below the covers, in the same position he’d left her in.  
  
“Ah, that’s really cute.” He suppressed a wistful sigh and carefully slid beneath the blankets next to her. The alarm on his phone was set to go off in five hours, giving them both enough time to just lie there and exist. He moved his arm beneath her shoulders, turning her so that she was folded against his chest.  
  
Two hours later, she awoke with a long, exaggerated stretch. The weight of Jaehwan’s body was pleasantly warm and heavy with her halfway buried beneath him. He smelled like clean laundry and chai, which only made her snuggle into him further. The junction between his neck and shoulder seemed to have been made specifically for her face to rest in.  
  
She wedged one of her arms free, tracing a finger along the pointed curve of his ear, convinced that Jaehwan belonged to a line of elven or goblin royalty from another realm.  
  
He was known for being a heavy sleeper, unless the smell of food was wafting through the air. She tugged on his lobe gently, testing how far she could go without stirring him. The members, Wonshik especially, would often pull on his ears. It was absolutely adorable and now she would get to join in, because he belonged to her?  
  
“Right, Jaehwan?” She whispered, not wanting to wake him, yet wanting to cause him as much damage as possible. He was so soft while he slept. The platinum blonde of his hair made him look pale, yet warm.  
  
She moved so that her leg was nestled between his own, which wasn’t unlike the position they had already been in. It was just that they were more acutely pressed up against one another, in a way that would be deemed as damn near inappropriate. She was purposefully applying pressure with her knee, wondering if she could affect him in the same manner that he always bestowed upon her.  
  
He released a light breath, remaining as still as stone. Not ticklish, but sensitive – she’d never forget it again. Her tongue touched his skin, drawing in slow, incessant circles, before sucking down carefully. She couldn’t leave a mark, she remembered. Not a bruise or a scratch. She sighed, pulling her other arm free to cradle the other side of his face, sliding her forefinger and thumb over his ear in a sharp pinch.  
  
It was when her nails treaded dangerously over his non-pierced ears, that he’d hissed a sound that was akin to both pain and heat. His lower half reacted on its own accord, rocking his hips forward against her thigh. As if to suss out the obstruction, he tightened his legs, eyebrows furrowed in sleepy fits of concentration.  
  
It hadn’t taken him very long to figure it out. The stimulation struck his brain like an electric current, blood rushing straight to his cock. The muscles in his arms twitched when the prickling sensation of sleep was gone, wrapping them around her. His long fingers were splayed in her hair, tugging at the roots in warning.  
  
“I can’t promise what happens to you when you cause me pain. Are you looking to get ravished?” She ignored the question, deliberately nipping at the sensitive skin of his neck. The next breath he released was shaky, the grip on her hair starting to become tighter exponentially, until she thought he might bruise her scalp.  
  
She stared up at him when he drew her head back almost forcibly, if not for her following the motion of his hand in order to lessen the pain. It was time to try something new and should it work, then at least she knew how to suppress the beast within or whatever the hell you’d call Jaehwan’s dark side. “Your ears are so cute though, _oppa_. You look fae and otherworldly sometimes...”  
  
“Do. Not.” Even with his eyes still closed, he was still intimidating. The frown on his face soon turned into a slow grimace, his displeasure of the compliment clearly evident. “These ears have put me through years of hell, especially when I was younger.”  
  
The topic of his ears was a sensitive one, but ‘ _oppa_ ’ might’ve simmered him, if only slightly.  
  
“Is that why you don’t bedazzle them with piercings? You don’t want to draw attention to them…” She rubbed her fingers over the point of his right ear, massaging it softly. “I think they’re beautiful and if you’re not a beautiful elf, then should we say goblin instead? You’re a goblin prince-ling.”  
  
“A troll with pointy ears and a big nose more like,” he corrected her, adjusting his hips once more. The friction he was met with from her knee being nestled right against his growing erection was a dangerous issue that needed to be addressed, _immediately._ “Just what were your intentions? Licking and pulling at me like I needed a good preening…”  
  
“Don’t disappoint me now, _oppa_. You _know_ why.” ‘Oppa’, she was saying it cutely, too – purposefully, no doubt. It did _things_ to him, especially when it was coming from someone he wanted to so desperately hear it from _again_ and _again_. She trailed her fingers from the slender curve of his neck to whisper over the prominent bone along his collar. “Are you afraid to relinquish a little bit of control to me?”  
  
He fought down every impulse to flip her onto her back, fill her deep to the brim with regret by taking her as far as he could possibly go, and making her scream until her pretty throat was raw. He wanted to tear an apology from her, verbally, physically – sincere or not, until he was satisfied with it, repeating, and then afterwards he would deny her mercy.  
  
The vocalist finally looked at her, light brown eyes piercing, yet glacial, devoid of any real human warmth. The hand in her hair twisted more sharply, causing her breath to hitch unevenly at the further discomfort it caused. The air from his mouth brushed over her skin when he spoke calmly, “You woke me up, all because you wanted to touch _oppa_ , no? Bring your hand right here, _pet_.”  
  
He yanked her wrist from his chest and pressed it to the bulge that was tenting against the material of his boxers. His eyelashes fluttered shut for a brief moment, lips parted around a soft gasp that struck her very core. He bent her small fingers beneath his own much larger ones, making her palm him firmly.  
  
“Ah, _fuck_ …” He cursed low, more sensitive than he realized.    
  
“I like it when you say dirty things,” She admitted, wondering if she should feel somewhat ashamed about it. The dirty talk was new to her and she should at least attempt to voice what she found to be incredibly sexy. “I wasn’t quite prepared for it before, but I think I am now.” Her skin felt hot from the confession, another piece of her innocence showing through.   
  
“I need you to touch me,” he breathed out, as the fingers in her hair yanked her closer to his face. He parted his mouth against hers, murmuring with slow drags of his lips, “Put your fucking hand in my boxers and _feel_ me.”    
  
Perhaps waking Jaehwan early would be reserved for those special moments when she wanted to be frightened, yet wildly turned on at the same time. She moved her trembling hand from where he’d held her against him, and went beneath the fitted briefs he was wearing. He’d pulled his shirt up to his chest, breathing labored, as his body stilled with anticipation.  
  
Her hand closed around his heated length, pressing a firm kiss to his mouth at the same time. The vocalist hummed appreciatively, welcoming the warmth of her tongue. The turn of her wrist was slow without enough momentum to gain a steady rhythm. It wasn’t like the first time she’d touched him, when he’d leaked precum, and she’d covered him with her saliva.  
  
She broke the kiss to peer up at him with a somewhat guilty expression, “I-It needs to be more …”  
  
“ _What_ needs to be more?” His grip on her hair tightened once again, eliciting a sharp gasp from her lungs. He knew exactly what she was referring to, but it was better this way – an education. He could thank the stars that she knew to stop, before she ended up hurting him. The girl was blushing furiously, unable to properly meet his gaze then. It was adorable to him, that she wanted him to be filthy, but she couldn’t do the same for him.   
  
_So pure, even when she tried not to be…_  
  
He chuckled, throaty and obnoxious at the sentiment. “My cock needs to be nice and slick for you, is that it?” She really was too much. He leaned in so that his mouth was pressed to her ear. “I suggest you get my dick all wet then.” The cool air of his breath teased over her sensitive skin, causing her to shiver involuntarily, and nuzzle closer to him.  
  
She hadn’t made that fated trip to the store yet for some bedroom essentials and it had become abundantly clear that he wasn’t planning on releasing his hold on her anytime soon. To top it all off, her instructions were to _touch_ , not to lick. She could ask him for a condom, but it seemed like too much of a hassle for just a hand-job.  
  
There really was only one option left.    
  
She pulled her arm free from his boxers to slip her fingers inside her mouth. The sound of her practically swishing around each digit made his cock pulse and throb. It reminded him of how he barely fit when she had sucked him off. She added in a third finger, lips a deep red from the abuse, and dripping webs of saliva from the effort.  
  
It was dirty and exactly what he wanted from her. The dark eyes surveying her through strands of blonde hair could make her change into something else entirely. There was nothing she wouldn’t do just to remain under his microscope for a little while longer, pinned by the underlining caution and heat from his scrutiny.  
  
She slipped her hand beneath the fabric of his boxers, each stroke becoming noisier than the last, as she coated her saliva around his thick cock. Her small knuckles grazed over the skin of his lower abdomen, feeling his muscles tighten from the sensitivity. A warm bead of precum leaked from the slit, wiped away beneath her thumb.  
  
“Fuck, yes…just like that…” A groan escaped at the back of his throat, her name a mere whimper. It sounded needy, even to his own ears. This little virgin, making him whine, moan, and drip pathetically. He silenced himself by crushing his mouth down on hers, tongue parting her lips, and sinking in.  
  
The rhythm of her hand soon matched that of their kiss, speeding up only to hear the gasps she could pull from him. Slowing down had only proved to make Jaehwan impatient, spiteful even, as it meant placing strands of her hair in jeopardy. He used his perfectly white teeth to drag over her bottom lip, taking whatever control he still could, however small.  
  
His cold hand slid beneath the hem of her shirt, hiking it further up over her chest with every possessive touch across her skin. He dipped his fingers beneath the cup of her bra, grabbing and kneading at whatever he was able to reach, running a thumb over a peaked nipple, before pinching down until she flinched.  
  
The vocalist stared at her hotly, cheeks a vibrant flush of color, and sweat collecting above his brow. The errant claim he was making on her body made her stomach flip and she wanted him all over again. He kissed her with another pull of her hair and a pinch of his clever fingers. He took his time, tracing along the roof of her mouth, over her teeth, the line of her tongue – tasting, declaring, _becoming_.  
  
He raised his lower half restlessly, fucking his hips up into her closed palm, hoping for more friction, more speed – anything to relieve him. The groan he withheld had come out desperate, breathy and indignant almost. His tactics of silently touching and coaxing her had only proven to backfire, since she was now taking her sweet time.  
  
He withdrew from her completely. The roots of her hair screaming when he’d finally released them. The loss of his fingers and mouth left her feeling empty and confused. He removed her hand with little effort, ridding himself of his boxers.  
  
Jaehwan stared at her expectedly, “Remove your panties.” She wore a shirt to bed ( _weak ass excuse for pajamas, but a small part of her wanted him to take notice_ ). She complied, sliding them down her smooth legs, and onto the floor. He pulled her on top of him, wedging her legs apart beneath his own so that she was in a straddling position and spread so, so wide. The air licked at the arousal between her thighs, letting her know just how wet she already was – for a good number of reasons.  
  
“Hold your shirt up, so I can see your cunt.” He’d used the word again, but she bit back the impulse to reprimand him, because now it was startlingly hot. “Higher...more…more…” He was smirking sweetly at her, but with little amusement. He wasn’t satisfied until the shirt was revealing the black lacey bra that she was wearing.  
  
A firm hand on her hip guided her forward along his cock, hot and slick – pressed up against every inch of her pussy. A tight hiss left his lungs when he breathed, “Mm, I want you to use me.” He stared up at her from beneath his dark lashes and practically crooned, “Come on, baby. You know what to do. You know what you _want_ …”  
  
Oh, hell, she knew all too well, and it was far too late to be flustered by his proposition. They’d already done things – _sexual things_ that would forever haunt her day and night, like waking dreams. The ghost moving her sheets, the monster under her bed, the flicker of shadowed movement, the scratching coming from the closet.  
  
The pace was slow at first, a gentle, yet controlled back and forth of her hips. The way he felt, so thick and warm over her clit, had her sighing blissfully. A little faster, she determined, placing her fingers beneath his length, and rubbing herself with the ridges of his cock.  
  
“You wanna get me all dirty, hm?” Her eyes closed briefly, pushing aside the fact that yes, she really did just say that. She brought his hand from her hip to rest on the lace of her bra. His fingers immediately went to teasing her, kneading her breasts roughly.  
  
“I want to come all over that tight pussy. Make you messy, fuck, make you _mine_.” It was clear that he was better at this game, difficult to shame or embarrass. His voice cracked, overwhelmed by the idea alone, “Would you like that? Me – rubbing my cum on your pussy?”  
  
“ _Ah_ , _yes_ …” She closed her hand around him, using her own arousal to stroke along cock, the wet sounds of it was loud in the room. She rotated her hips wantonly, covering what her hand couldn’t, the friction shooting straight to her core. The head of his dick was so incredibly enlarged and swollen red, dripping with more precum.  
  
It looked delicious, _what_.    
  
He grazed his nail over her nipple through the material of her bra, eliciting a gasp from her. Her inner walls clenched tightly, while she ground herself down with fervor. Her orgasm wasn’t far off, the pressure having been building in her stomach from the moment she opened her eyes to find him asleep next to her. Because she was a damned pervert and he’d made her that way. And she’d been melting for him ever since, unable to stop whatever fire he seemed to have ignited within her.  
  
Jaehwan tended to get louder whenever he was close, a perfect array of hums and chills from an overly sensitive body. He was doing it then, moans coming from the back of his throat, high enough for the neighbors to be alarmed by it. He was blasting her name with a slew of curses that had gone unfiltered, teeth dragging at his bottom lip in an attempt to do the impossible, and silence himself.  
  
The moment she’d felt him tense up, she allowed herself to let go, feeling the warmth of her orgasm flooding through her. She hadn’t even realized she’d been making any noise, until a pair of caramel eyes were settled on her accusingly. He gritted her name through his teeth, like a bite. His head tilted back with a hand in the pillow, finally coming. The line of his neck was strained, veins swelled on the surface, and muscles twitching. She caught most of his cum in the palm of her hand, stopping it from going all over his stomach.  
  
Love makes you crazy, they say. It makes you do crazy things. It makes you want to slather Jaehwan’s cum all over yourself.   
  
She touched the web of cum to her already glistening pussy, rubbing it over the swollen hood of her clit. It was so warm, thick, and sticky. The vocalist’s eyes were dark and hazy, even after he’d just started to come down from his high. He zeroed in on her fingers and he licked his lips, suddenly starved for a taste of her. It was as though he’d been deprived all of his life. She gasped abruptly, finding herself with her back pressed to the mattress.  
  
She had brought her hand up during the fall, the tips of her digits still dirtied with his release. He enveloped her pointer and middle finger into the hot space of his mouth, tongue tracing them thoroughly, before sucking them clean. And then he was on her, crushing his mouth against her own with a firm hand on her neck. He lowered his head, nipping at the swells of her breasts.  
  
The descent was usually meticulous and slow, but he was hurried, eager to get to the mess that awaited him between her thighs. He’d adjusted her legs, so that they were bent, and spread wide for him.   
  
He stared at her seriously, waiting for her to look at him, “We should have a child together.”  
  
Her hand went to the fingers on her throat, “Wait, w-what?”  
  
Jaehwan’s tongue darted at her entrance – parting her open each time he fucked into her. He could feel the vibration of every sound she made through his fingertips. ‘A puppy,’ he thought. ‘A cute little puppy to make up for all of the times she’d be alone soon.’ She’d realize what it was like to be without him and it was for that reason, that he had to hold off on giving her what she wanted – what they both wanted, to finally consummate their relationship.  
  
It was still a possibility that she might not want to date him anymore now that his schedule would be swamped for the next few months. He ran the flat of his tongue over her clit, sweeping over the thick spot of cum there. He practically growled into her, suckling until she’d cried out. He could give her his body, easy. She could have his whole heart, already did. Time though. Time never belonged to Jaehwan. Time was his keeper as an idol.  
  
He could mindlessly forsake it like a crazy person, believing that one could even elude it to some extent ( _always late, Jaehwan, always_ ), but it would catch up with him in the end.  
  
Love makes you crazy, they say. It makes you do crazy things. It makes Jaehwan want to maintain a relationship, even when he knows that it has a 51% chance of failing.

* * *

It was difficult for her to pay attention during class. Jaehwan was quick to respond to her KKT messages and the conversation addressed something that had been on her mind, since the moment it was brought up.  
  
_‘We should have a child together.’_  
  
At the time, she couldn’t even properly respond, what with his tongue on her. It wasn’t fair, so class can go sit in the corner for now. This conversation held rank above all else.  
  
**Jaehwan Oppa**  
Are you saying you don’t want to have a child with me?  
That’s very rude, _dearest._    
  
\- We haven’t even verbally confirmed our relationship status and you want a child with me?  
\- Dating  > moving in > marriage > babies.  
\- That is my goal chart.  
  
**Jaehwan Oppa**  
( _Screen caps her response, sends it to Hakyeon, shares a hearty good laugh with his hyung_ )  
That’s really cute, but I think you’re misunderstanding me. I want a child that you can pick up from the local pet store. Interesting though, you have goals for us.  
  
“What an asshole,” she sputtered through anxious breaths, forgetting all about her surroundings. The heat in her face felt like flames and she wanted to die where she sat. She bowed her head at her classmates, apologizing, but she was more flustered about mistaking what Jaehwan had meant. She was not going to survive him.  
  
The professor sighed audibly, irritated that one of his top students was slacking off in such an outright manner. Foul language, too, the fuck, kid. He could chew her out, but decided against it to instead resume thinking way too deeply about a Subway sandwich, because priorities.  
  
She was quiet for the remainder of class, even in the KKT chat, because it was too embarrassing. She worried over nothing and on some ridiculous level ( _and still very much drunk on Jaehwan_ ), she had even been _considering_ it _,_ and daydreaming about how good it would feel to throw caution to the wind. Live wildly and romantically. It was mostly fantasizing, because her flow chart of how a relationship should go still mattered.  
  
Collecting her things, she stepped outside, wondering if she’d have enough time to go to Starbucks before the bus arrived. There was a sleek silver car parked right outside campus and it looked oddly familiar. And so did the tall, casually dressed body leaning against it, so much so that it was impossible to ignore.  
  
Jaehwan was hidden behind sunglasses and a black flu mask. The only clothing he owned was name brand, but today was a simple pair of sweats. His blonde hair was covered by a hat and no one appeared to be taking notice of him. If they were looking at anything, it was his imported car from Italy, because subtlety be damned.  
  
She stepped up to him, having to tilt her head all the way back from the difference in their height. “You look like you’re right out of a Japanese porno. Not the straight kind, either.”  
  
Without missing a beat, the vocalist bantered, “Ah, so you’ve found me out, saw my collection. I was at the beginning of my career, options were meager. But since I’m a narcissist, I like to revisit my past endeavors from time to time.”  
  
He opened the car door for her and if it weren’t for the mask being in the way, she was sure that he would be grinning at her. This was the first time he’d picked her up from campus. And although, dangerous for him, it was a nice surprise for her. Her frustration from earlier hadn’t simmered completely yet, but he was making it difficult to stay mad at him.  
  
She waited for him to get inside the car to vent about it, before it disappeared. “So, that was a cruel thing to do, posing your statement the way that you did. ‘Have a child with me’. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you had meant for me to mistake it.”  
  
“Even if there was malevolent intent behind my choice of phrasing, it doesn’t make it any less true. I meant what I said.” He removed his sunglasses, swopping them out with his round pair of prescription lenses. No contacts today, which she’d started to prefer. “I want to share this experience with you, since I’ve never done it before.” He gave her one of his signature winks. “It’s my _first_ time.”  
  
He almost seemed proud of himself to have one of those left in his arsenal, a first time.  
  
After what seemed like forever and yet strangely, not long enough ( _because watching Jaehwan drive with full concentration was sexy as all get out_ ), the car had come to a stop.  
  
“You’re still staring at me,” he said, pulling the strap of his flu mask off of one pointed ear. Then his aegyo shenanigans returned with a myriad of winking, peace signs, duck lips, and hearts. It was as though he didn’t know how to handle her silence. “I must be cute.”  
  
“What place have you brought me to, oppa?” She hid her smile by looking out the window, turning her face away from him.     
  
“The nursery, of course.” Oh, okay, just all nonchalant about that statement. Jaehwan had decided on puppies. He’d even called ahead of time and scheduled an appointment. The blinds were shut and the Closed sign was out. He wanted the experience to be as natural as possible, although it already wasn’t _normal_.    
  
“Why, of course.” She shook her head, getting out of the car before he could do anything ridiculous, like open the door for her. He would do it, was going to do, but no – just no. He grabbed her hand, tugging her along. “It looks like they’re closed.”  
  
The door opened when he pulled on it, the shop filled with sounds of small puppies yapping away excitedly to greet them. The owner seemed relatively chill that two people just walked in and then it dawned on her that Jaehwan had arranged for this to happen. Mask completely off, hat in his back pocket. The vocalist looked comfortable and he refused to keep his hands to himself.  
  
He had his arms tied around her, not allowing her to stray too far from him. The store had open pens, instead of glass or metal cages. It wasn’t long before her boyfriend tried communicating with a group of Pekingese puppies in sharp, high-pitched barks. She’d gently tapped his mouth twice to keep him from killing her ears.  
  
“Holy, why, why,” she said, as she approached a small pen with baby pugs. “Which one of you puppies were in Pocahontas?”  
  
“Yes, which one of you landed a role in the Disney animated film, Pocahontas? Yes, animated.” She would have elbowed him, if it weren’t for his tight grip on her arms. He was having too much fun teasing her. “Even if it was a real dog in Pocahontas, it would be dead by now.”  
  
“You’re such an ass. You couldn’t even play pretend for my sake.” He turned her so that she was facing him, large hands sliding down her back in a silent act of possessiveness. She felt powerless, as she leaned into his touch. The vocalist traveled his fingers upwards again, dancing them along the knobs of her spine.  
  
“I never said that I was nice.” She opened her to mouth to defend him against **himself** ( _what in the actual fuck?),_ when he grabbed a fistful of her hair, and kissed her firmly in the middle of the store. It was an unusual place for public affection, but she couldn’t exactly fight it, nor did she particularly want to.  
  
It was back to wanting to jump Jaehwan.    
  
“I’ve always wanted a Shih Tzu,” she murmured abruptly, out of breath, because she’d forgotten all about the human basics of staying alive. “But they were always so expensive and all the dogs at the shelters were big and looked difficult to take care of.” He was grinning so wide at her that he thought his lips were going to crack. She shook her head at him, putting an end to her rambling. “I mean, let’s have a Shih Tzu together.”  
  
“We only have one left,” said the owner, the expression on his face grim almost. He’d tried selling the pup for what seemed like endlessly. “The litter sold within days. As you know, Shih Tzu’s are known for being playful, but he’s a bit shy. He’s nine weeks old, pale coat with light caramel spots.”  
  
They approached the pen, finding the puppy alone, and curled up on a Ryan cushion. His tail gave a single wag, before stopping.  
  
“And not only is he shy, but he’s also very lazy, and sleeps for a majority of his day. It’s why it’s been difficult to sell him. Folks want a dog that gets excited and plays.” The owner leaned down and scooped him up, handing him over to the girl. “He doesn’t like to eat out of a bowl, so he’ll whine until someone places his food on the floor for him.”  
  
She felt his soft fur and her heart stopped completely. Jaehwan was leaning over her shoulder, petting the top of its head.  
  
“He looks like a little bear,” the vocalist whispered, as the puppy’s eyes started to droop, until they were closed for more sleep.  
  
This was familiar. She turned to Jaehwan, “Your mom told me that you were rather quiet and shy when you were young. Perhaps he takes after you? He just needs a little bit of time to find his spark.”  
  
“Oh, that last sentence definitely came directly from my mother or a Miyazaki movie.” He stole the puppy away from her. It seemed even smaller in Jaehwan’s hands. “And our child won’t have older siblings to whoop his ass when he tries to develop a personality.”  
  
She squinted at him, not seeing it, “Your brothers are two of _the_ nicest guys that I have ever met.”  
  
The owner had been waiting for the right moment to chime in again. Honestly, he would feel incredibly guilty if he didn’t tell them about his main concern. “We think the dog might be suffering from narcolepsy.”  
  
They both turned to look at him, giving matching expressions of ‘ _well, fuck’_. Then in unison, they both answered with, “We’ll take him.”  
  
They were in the car when Jaehwan took out his phone. “We need to show off the newest member of the Lee family.” Wow, okay. He liked the way that just rolled off of his tongue, all seamlessly and comfortable.  
  
“We should name him, Wicket, after the Ewok that helps Princess Leia in Star Wars, Return of the Jedi.” She set her hand on the pup’s little backside, keeping it warm while he slept. That’s what Jaehwan was hoping for, that the puppy would somehow change the cycle of dating for him, and save the princess.  
  
He looked at her for a long moment, as though to commit her to memory, teeth worrying his bottom lip, “It’s going to get really busy from now on, for VIXX. We’re waging war on 2016 and that means being consistent. I’m going to be making appearances on idol shows, traveling, recording, and practicing.”     
  
“I know that,” she said, treating it as though it were a simple matter. It wasn’t though, which he knew firsthand. “And bonus for us, I understand how it all works.”  
  
He leaned over, touching the soft pads of his fingertips to her mouth and tapped it gently, like she’d done to him earlier. The words seemed to have hurt his ears. He raised his phone up high, trying to get the best angle. “We need a nice picture of the three of us.”  
  
( _Sends it to the VIXX KKT > Mom > Brother 01 > Brother 02_)  
  
Greetings from the Lee family.              

* * *

 **End of chapter notes:** My friend chose the breed of dog and the name of the dog, herself. I was going to name the dog Baloo and have them call the puppy Lulu the whole time, but alas. THE STARS DO NOT ALIGN. Like I mentioned in the top notes, the next chapter will be the end of this story. Please look forward to it and I hope you guys have a great weekend.

 

 

 


	8. Stop Desire

**A/N:** Oh, I’m sorry. Did you guys think that I forgot about this story? No. I did not forget. I hope you all enjoy reading the final chapter. I’m very happy to be finishing up this story. You have no idea. I dedicate this to all of you who enjoyed it. Sometimes it’s difficult being a HET writer, because the active audience is so small and the rest of you are ashamed. So, even if the story is good, it becomes under appreciated. However, people like you, kudoing, commenting, bookmarking, you’ll never know how much it means to me. Thank you. _  
  
Shout out to my girl, [bunneh_teef_70](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bunneh_teef_70/profile) for helping me not sound like a man from the 1800's. Thank you also for helping me read this over, beta-ing, and dealing with my bullshit.  
  
_

* * *

**Oversized Sweater _  
_**

* * *

_‘You can’t stop desire.  
I’ve tried, but you’re fuel to my fire.’_ – Tegan  & Sara  
  
Chapter Eight: _Stop Desire_  
  
She was on a schedule that she hadn’t even realized, until it broke ( _and oh, when it broke, it had damn near shattered her small world into even tinier pieces_ ). Despite not seeing Jaehwan, they did speak as often as they could, whether it was through text messaging, or short phone calls – they tried to make it work. The last time she’d met with him, they had a quick lunch together. That was nearly three weeks ago. Twice, he had flowers delivered to her up at campus, both times were equally as embarrassing. Packages would show up on her doorstep consisting of purses, jewelry, outfits, and accessories for their _child._  
  
It was materialistic and typical, so she would end up verbally chewing him out for the entire twenty minutes they were allotted for that day. Wasteful, she supposed, but the aggravation of his absence had frustrated her to that point.  
  
VIXX released their second mini-album of the year entitled _Hades_. Jaehwan’s hair had changed again, covered in a dark brown for the title track _Fantasy_. She followed VIXX’s schedule, while acquiring updates and spoilers from their KKT (Kakao) chats. Jaehwan enjoyed sharing private selcas and demanding them from her in return.  
  
It was such an odd feeling, to be happy, and yet empty at the same time. The small dog claimed the opposite side of her bed as its own, resting on the pillow next to hers. Although, most mornings she had awoke with him strewn above her head, nipping at her fingertips. It took her longer than usual to drag herself out of bed today, alert, but unmotivated.  
  
Her _Alarmon_ app went off, VIXX’s _Fantasy_ playing. She headed into work without makeup, which wasn’t a thing to do, ever. It wasn’t a _sin_ , of course, but Korea was all about beauty. Considering the country’s stringent standards, the more put together, the more competent you appeared, and today she looked like a complete mess. She’d started skimping out on more and more recently, forgetting to restock her fridge, to put on socks, or to go for that thirty minute walk she’d promised the unsightly pounds she gained on her ass.  
  
The times when Jaehwan would call had become a routine of some sort and she knew when to expect him. It was usually while he was eating, or right before he went to bed for the night. They didn’t have much privacy, since someone was either always around, or the walls were too thin, and Jaehwan was far too fucking loud.  
  
“I don’t know how Taekwoonie does it,” Jaehwan laughed one night while VIXX was in Japan. He’d faced-timed with her to show off his hotel room and the view of Tokyo tower, before turning off the camera. “Wait, let me rephrase that. I know how he does it, because he doesn’t give a shit about thin walls, or that I’m in the same room. He’s on his phone with your friend and they’re like shameless animals, utterly perfect for one another.”  
  
“Do you want to behave shamelessly, too?” She had been staring up at the ceiling of her room at the time, noticing how the white paint was tinted yellow from its previous owners, who had obviously been smokers. Hell, she wished it bothered her more, lord knows that it should. She teased, “Is this where we’re supposed to have phone sex, Jaehwan? Do you think I’m that easy?”  
  
Jaehwan hesitated for a moment, the silence he contributed was practically deafening. Then she heard a door slam shut.  
  
She felt a little concerned by it, “Jaehwan?”  
  
“Listen to me carefully. I know what you’re like. The way you taste and how you react to my touch, the way that I react to you.” His words were in rushed, overwhelmed breaths, and the mere tension of it had crept through. She swallowed thickly, heart beginning to race when he continued, “I could break you, you know. The thought has crossed my mind, more than I’d like to be admitting to you right now, but everything that you are is _good,_ and I could ruin it all. Are you listening?”  
  
It took her a moment to find her voice, but she’d managed a small, “I’m listening…”  
  
“I want you, because you are absolute sweetness, and all sweet things must be soured. I suppose that’ll be your curse in the end, the fact that I have decided on you, and that you’re mine.” His mouth was so close to the receiver, she could practically feel his breath against her ear, despite the running water. “I want you to tell me that you’re mine.”  
  
“I _am_ yours.” It wasn’t a very difficult statement for her to be making. She’d found herself nuzzling closer to the phone in her hand, wanting him beside her then, so that she could feel his breath against her skin. It felt like high school, the pang in her chest reminding her of a first love, unrequited, and cruel. Because he couldn’t possibly feel for her, what she felt for him.  
  
“I want to play with you and I want you to hear me.” He paused then, laughing low to himself. “Tell me you want me to play with you.” She could hear him fumbling with what sounded like his belt and immediately, she dropped her hand to the dull ache she felt between her thighs, fingers already adding pressure through her clothing.   
  
She sighed heavily on purpose, “I want you to play with me _so_ bad.” There was a small whine to his voice, increased hitches in his breath, the tell-tale signs that he was already touching himself.  Hearing him try to maintain his composure after that was one of the sexiest things she’d experienced.     
  
And for a moment, she’d paused just to listen to him, small chills prickling over her skin. He laughed almost nervously, “Just tell me you’re touching yourself, too.”  
  
“I’m teasing myself, slow and soft…”  
  
“Go a little faster.”   
  
“Be a little louder,” she challenged back, greedy over the sounds he was making. A moment later, the vocalist obliged her. Then she could actually _hear_ him, the lick of his lips, the vigor of every stroke, and how wet he was in his palm.  
  
He teased her, “You like hearing me fuck my hand, baby?”  
  
She settled the phone between the pillow and her shoulder, shimmying out of her pajama bottoms and panties. “ _Yeah,_ and I want everyone to hear you and know what you’re doing to yourself, you fucking pervert.”  
  
_‘You fucking pervert.’_ Well.  
  
“First of all, _yes_ , I _am_ a _fucking_ pervert. Secondly, I find it funny how brave you can act while I’m not in front of you, what with the request, and the name calling.” He squeezed the head of his cock, thumb rolling over the slit. She was too focused on him, which was something he’d have to put an end to, especially if he had any plans on getting them both off. “Maybe it’s because you know that if I _were_ there, I’d fuck that smart little mouth of yours, until it was raw.”  
  
“Oh, _please_ , you’re not that good,” she said, trailing her fingers into the wet slick between her legs. “Your so-called ‘punishments’ are lackluster, a parent’s first scolding.”  
  
He barked out a laugh that was positively indecent, “To an addled brat, no doubt! But you’re not a child, _no_. You can withstand a great deal more, I’m sure.”  
  
It was ridiculous, how flirtatious, yet utterly serious he was being. Often at times, he reminded her of a would-be angel turned demon, which was somehow hot, and mildly sacrilegious. He wasn’t even in the room and he was making her quake, affecting her with such ease. Her legs trembled, as she rubbed over her clit in firm circles, imagining that it was him. A soft whimper escaped her lips, right into the phone, and she heard him gasp in response, seeming to alter the pace of his wrist.  
  
“Why do you sound _so fucking_ sweet – tell me you’re all mine. Tell me you’re just for me…” He closed his eyes, his voice shaking softly from holding in his breath. His lips parted around a low curse, cock pulsing hard in the tight circle of his fist, as he slowed his rhythm. “Tell me how badly you need to be filled with my cock. Tell me that you want it.”  
  
She murmured, overheated, and flushed from his words, “J-Jaehwan…please…you fucking know I’m all yours.”  
  
She was enjoying imagining his lean body stretched over hers, hips meeting for every thrust, rough and unforgiving. Because she honestly didn’t know what to expect or what it would feel like, only that she wanted Jaehwan buried deep inside, literally and figuratively.  
  
“Fill me up with your cock…I want it so bad…” She pushed in a finger at her entrance, dipping in over and over, the sound of each intrusion wet and almost shameful to her own ears. As she slowly added the second digit, she cried out softly, palm brushing her clit when she went as far as she could go, hips arching up restlessly.  
  
The vocalist practically growled his approval into the phone, enjoying how she begged to be fucked – his little virgin, once again exceeding expectations. _Fuck_ , he tried to behave himself, but he couldn’t stop the wicked thoughts coming to the forefront of his mind. It would feel so good to finally thrust into her tight warmth, stretching her cunt around his thick cock, and claiming her however he saw fit.  
  
“ _Oh_ , I’m gonna come,” he hissed, strokes quickened by an expert hand. He imagined marking her skin with the cruel press of his mouth, leaving a trail of red and purple blossoms. The bruises would be pretty to look at, but not deep enough to mar. The small noises she was making then, hitched breaths and gasped pleas, was a melody playing softly to him through the phone.  
  
And when the heat finally unfurled, the tight winding in the pit of their stomachs put to an end, they were defined as a mess, which consisted of laughter, curses, and heady nonsense. Jaehwan, reduced to a stream of helpless whining, pitched from the shameless moans she was making, desperate to fall with her over the edge, and getting lost beneath the waves of their release. Lips brushed over the surface of their phones, nuzzling into it as though it were skin, instead of plastic. Fingers were covered in clear stickiness, two hearts full and heavy, and so utterly exhausted from missing one another.  
  
They were both committed to a new habit.

* * *

She felt stronger than usual, empowered even, like she’d somehow figured out how to get through a not so easy life without seeing Jaehwan on a regular basis. She relied solely upon his phone calls and convinced herself that they were enough for her. It was a long distance relationship, one she had never expected to be in to begin with. How much time had passed? She felt dizzy just thinking about it. _Zelos – Hades – Kratos_ , the three banes of her existence.   
  
She’d gone to school in daze, expression blank like a mindless zombie, and felt incredibly heartsick. The grandma at the music shop allowed her to take on more shifts, which she happily took her up on, since it didn’t interfere with the time of Jaehwan’s potential calls. His mother was talkative during his absence, although clumsy at texting. And it always seemed like she was trying to persuade the girl into staying with her son, because even she _knew_ how badly this part would hurt.  
  
She unboxed and shelved new VIXX mini albums, watching as girls and boys alike had come in to purchase them. The one time she was required to make room for a special display area, she found herself standing there, staring holes into Jaehwan’s 6’0 cardboard cutout. The military attire was befitting to say the least. _The Closer_ promoting period was like hell though, because Jaehwan was in top form, and she fucking _craved_ him.  
  
Today, he’d invited her to visit him while on the set of a nearby music show, but she declined, remembering what transpired the last time that happened. Besides, whenever there was a show, there was also a fan meeting. Seeing him afterwards wasn’t even an option. With the phone calls and the face-time, things would be okay. She could wait one more week.  
  
It was just one more week.  
  
And she was strong ( _her newfound mantra_ ). This was nothing.  
  
She stepped into her home and placed her keys and phone down on the table. It was Friday, so she decided to treat herself, and play menu roulette – cheated when it landed on McDonalds, and did it again. Subway it would be.  
  
Their child was in his dog bed that was too damn big for his puppy self. He was deep asleep and not even aware of the fact that there was a human within his general vicinity. An awful watchdog, but easy enough to take care of, quick to be loving due to his chronic sleepiness, and often enjoyed a good cuddle.  
  
A knock on the front door nearly startled her. Like, Taekwoon startled – face sour and body stiff in questionable fear. It was the delivery guy from Subway and her heart settled back to a calm pace, since this wasn’t a 90’s horror flick. She instinctively eyed the clock on the wall before swinging open the door. Jaehwan wouldn’t call for another three hours yet.  
  
“How much do I owe you?” She thumbed the money from her wallet and faintly heard what sounded like her horrendously generic ringtone. _Three hours._ It was probably her friend. No one else really hit up her phone, with the exception of her mother and Jaehwan. Given the time, those two possibilities were out. Her mother was asleep in her bed somewhere across the ocean and Jaehwan was busy like always.    
  
She took her bag to the dining room table, the light on her phone bright as it gave its last sound of alert. ‘Jaehwan oppa’, a name she hadn’t expected to see – shouldn’t have seen, flashed and then dimmed, before her screen turned off. _What._ **No** , she never missed his call. There was a schedule and she would usually feel bitter, although relatively alright when she didn’t receive a call due to unforeseen circumstances, because technically, she did not _miss_ his call in that situation.  
  
Her hand flew out and she pressed the _Call_ button, met with an annoying busy signal. That was odd. She tried again, this time getting his answering machine. The Subway guy was going to die next time she saw that marked for death piece of shit.  
  
She laughed once, twice, and brought a hand up to her mouth. Oh, how funny, and tragic it all was then, you know, life. The muscles in her chest tightened and she laughed even harder, clenching at during her fit of dramatics. And before she realized what was happening, she was on the floor in tears, sobbing pathetically. Strong or weak, whatever the hell this was, the breaking point had left her breathless in its victory, stealing the very air from her lungs.  
  
The doorbell sounded again, but this time she was too upset to remember to be cautious. Hell, she was hoping it was the Subway guy, so she could tear into his soul, and leave him as a decorative husk for her mantle. She wiped at her face, before wrenching the door open, blinking dazedly a few times. Perhaps, she was now dreaming or having hallucinations.  
  
Because Jaehwan…  
  
Jaehwan was there, tucking away his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. And of course, he was wearing one too many layers on top of a turtleneck. His hair was back to blonde for the Closer, as though Fantasy had never happened, and they were picking up from where they had left off during the Dynamite promotions.  
  
“Are you…” She wiped more harshly at her face, teeth running over her bottom lip, “…really here, right now?”  
  
He was quiet for a long moment, taking in her sullen expression. It was an odd mixture of disbelief and genuine hurt. He could tell that she’d been crying from the red splotches on her skin, her red swollen lips, and the way she kept brushing at the sides of her face. And for as upset as she appeared, she also seemed quite furious – which shouldn’t have been so attractive, but Jaehwan had his faults.  
  
“You wouldn’t see me, so I’ve come to see you.” He stepped in closer to her, inside her home when she’d given him enough room to enter, but just barely. He closed the door behind his back, eyes never leaving hers. The moment was too fragile, too unstable to release her just yet.  
  
This was what he’d warned her about, the bullet that traveled at a slow pace, but would inevitably hit its mark.  
  
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” He said, laughing derisively then, “Being with me?” He was all too familiar with the situation at hand, so used to the routine of his every failed relationship. It was as though they had practiced a script, two seasoned actors. Of course she’d leave him, too. The one he craved the most, his very singular desire in a life in which he served, and asked for nothing back.    
  
She blinked up at him, convinced of it now, “You’re real.”  
  
“My smart girl, with her abundance of optimism. I tried telling you that it wouldn’t be easy.” He brought a hand up to his face, fingers running over where his facial hair would be if he were allowed to grow it out. “You can’t handle this, can you?”  
  
“No.” He was about to retort most bitterly, when she leaned up on her toes, and kissed him softly against his full, plush lips. “I can’t believe you’re still talking.”  
  
He growled at the back of his throat, fingers closing tightly in her hair in a desperate attempt to keep their mouths pressed together. She breathed in against him, hands smoothing down the front of his chest. And when he pulled away, it was to nuzzle against the side of her neck, inhaling sharply.  
  
“I’ve missed this,” He admitted, a hand still wound tightly in her hair. It sounded like someone was tap dancing in the kitchen and when Jaehwan looked out from over her shoulder, he could see their puppy bounding its way to them. “He doesn’t grow, does he?”  
  
She pinched at his side, being especially rough when considering the fact that he wasn’t ticklish. He touched his hand to the spot, effectively moving away from her, both wounded and amused all at once.  
  
“What the hell was that for?” He picked up the ball of fur and sat down at the table, seeing the Subway bag there. He turned petulant, “You ordered yourself Subway without thinking of me?”   
  
“Can we talk about the very obvious allergy you have to one of the twenty-five ingredients in bread?” She paused for a moment, “Wait, tonight? You can stay the night?”  
  
“I can, after the signing. I get to come here and be with you. Leader approved and all.” He pressed a kiss against Wicket’s head and gently placed the pup down. “Our relationship is time sensitive, as you already understand. My career takes precedence over love, even my family, because it’s my dream.” He narrowed his eyes at her seriously. “Is it selfish of me to expect you to be okay with this?”  
  
“It’s not,” she said, because although it hurt, she understood. “So long as you make an effort to be with me, I can’t complain.”  
  
“Perhaps over time, things can change for us both, the living situation, at the very least. I’d love to have this place for my own. Come on, domesticate me.” He winked, his mood swiftly changing from serious to flirtatious. The shameless, tongue in cheek, Jaehwan was present.  
  
“You’re already domesticated, Jaehwan.” She walked over to the chair that he was casually sitting in. It was wooden, sturdy enough to hold both their weights, she’d imagine. He was here and this was real and he looked, smelled, and felt so fucking wonderful. Nights of breathy words, promises, and threats into the phone, and the tension had spiked to a dangerous degree. “How long before you have to leave?”  
  
He stared up at her from beneath his set of dark lashes, “An hour or so.”  
  
That stupid, beautiful face, challenged her. One thing she appreciated about Jaehwan was the façade he was able to put on, the one that said that he could control himself, but she knew better. Testing those limits could be fun, if she wasn’t so needy at the moment. If she wasn’t so goddamn ready to make the most of their hour (or so).  
  
“Stay, Jaehwan.” She said, as she rounded the chair, hand splayed across his chest as she did, slow and deliberate, before heading to the sanctity of her bedroom. Her bravado and nerve seemed to amplify. Was she really about to initiate her first time like _this_? If they put it off for much longer, she was going to die.   
  
She opened the bag that was in her drawer, remembering how ridiculous she’d felt standing in the checkout line, with the only three items in her hand consisting of condoms, lube, and a snickers bar. It was a rather ridiculous ordeal, but necessary. Grabbing a condom, she returned to the kitchen to find Jaehwan exactly where she’d left him, minus the jacket he had been wearing a few moments ago.  
  
He took notice of the foil in her hand and visibly straightened, arching a brow at her in question. “Are you sure?”  
  
She pointed a finger at him when he started to lean forward in his chair, “Stay. Don’t make me say it again, Jaehwan.”  
  
“I don’t think we have enough time to-“ She silenced him with a stern expression. Only she could choose the right time, when she was ready, and how it would happen. However, Jaehwan had envisioned her first time a bit differently, romantic, and careful even. _Careful_ being the operative word, because he’d never bedded a virgin before, even when he’d had the opportunity to do so in the past.    
  
“We’ve had fun, you and I, but now I need more from you.” She shook her head at him, unsure of how to properly explain the mental and emotional metamorphosis she’d gone through since being _with_ him, and also being _away_ from him. “So, I’ll be taking that, unless you have any objections.”  
  
He licked at his suddenly dry lips, an arm reaching out for her when she swatted it away. The vocalist snickered, growing increasingly impatient by the second. “My only objection is that you’re not allowing me to touch you. It’s okay if you’re not ready.”  
  
Why does it seem like he was constantly saying those words to her? “What kind of man tries to deter his girlfriend away from having sex?”  
  
“ _This_ one,” He snapped, pinning her under the weight of his stare, “…if the situation calls for it.” She returned to her own devices, teeth pulling the foil open, before setting it down on the table for easy access.    
  
“I want this,” She said with a sense of finality. Nothing else mattered in her mind, except for the raw energy between them, and how it stripped her into something needy. The vocalist nodded, hands closing in the hem of his sweater, and removing the plain white shirt beneath it. His chest was bare and soft to look at, collarbones protruding, toned muscles, and veins. This was the palest she’d ever seen Jaehwan, almost sickly so in comparison to how honey-tanned he can become whenever he was out in the sun for too long.  
  
She followed his movements, removing each layer of her own clothing slowly, allowing the straps of her bra to fall forward off her arms. The heat of his gaze held her the entire time, suffocating, as it overwhelmed. It was unnerving, leaving her in an awkward state of feeling anxious and turned on all at once.  
  
He unzipped his jeans and pulled the button open, hips raised slightly to remove the rough material down his legs. She discarded her bottoms, leaving her in just a pair of panties. The silence was the heavier, more tangible thing, really. The tension heightened with each passing moment and it appeared as though he were about to snap beneath its pressure.  
  
The front of Jaehwan’s fitted boxers were tented, his arousal evident in more ways than one. The dark expression on his face quickly pooled over into something heady and enticing, a wordless promise of its own. A part of her wished he would have unleashed then and taken her right where she stood, however, when it had come down to being serious, he obeyed her every request, no matter how difficult.  
  
She decided to push him, “How badly do you want to touch me?”  
  
His jaw set visibly, words coming out glacial. “Oh, I’m practically dying.” The vocalist’s mouth turned up into a twisted smirk, although the amusement seemed to be misplaced somewhere. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were _toying_ with me. Will my efforts to please you be rewarded with punishment?”  
  
“I learned from the best.” She fingered the hem of her lacey pair of panties and leaned down, slow and purposeful in the act of trailing them off her legs. She wasn’t fresh from a shower, she wasn’t pampered, nor as clean shaven as she would have liked. She hadn’t been expecting Jaehwan to show up unannounced, but she still felt confident as each moment pressed on. His words and actions filled her with an incredible sense of pride – not to mention how he was eyeing her up with such intensity, causing a ripple of chills to spread throughout her body.  
  
That feeling of pride afforded her only so much power beneath that gaze – a stare that could positively weaken her. He kept his arms down at his sides, deeming it only appropriate to leave his boxers on, until she was ready to remove them herself. She placed her hands on the back of the chair he was sitting on, using it as leverage to straddle him. The immediate closeness pulled a sharp intake of breath from his lungs, the weight of her body settling atop his own. The air between them was a suffocated warmth, pungent with the musk of her arousal.  
  
The vocalist licked at his lips, head tilted back so as to not devour her just yet. The fog of having her so near, willing, and ready – tempted his foundation to give way and crumble. He wanted to grab her by the hips and grind himself against her. He wanted to feel her warmth snug against his cock. His nails dug harder under the chair, eyes appraising her when she hovered over him from the new position.  
        
She leaned down to press her mouth to his bottom lip, trembling with every exhale through her nose. The walls of her subconscious dimmed, about to short-circuit. It was possible to become lightheaded from the amount of endorphins pumping throughout her bloodstream like a poison, worsening each second. Anxiety flowed through her in an onslaught of jerks and shivers, until the moment when he started to reciprocate.  
  
Jaehwan breathed out evenly, sighing from the shaky touch of her lips. There was a telling inadequacy about it, as though she’d forgotten how to kiss altogether. He smirked against her, before lining her lips with the point of his tongue, begging for permission. A small whimper escaped, as her hands abandoned the chair to tangle in his hair. His teeth grazed over her mouth, the pain sharp.    
  
She whispered to him, unable to make her voice go any higher, “Touch me…” Her lips parted for him then, allowing his tongue to dive in slowly, thoroughly. He uncurled his fists and brought their lower halves together. The heat from their bare skin mingled in a pleasant contrast, soft and warm met solid and unyielding. She was wet where she was nestled against his cock, coating him whenever he forced her hips forward with both hands placed on her ass, kneading her roughly.  
  
He gave her lips one last tug, leaving them swollen red, and tingling. The added height of their position gave him better access to the slender curve of her neck down to her breasts. Jaehwan knew better than to feast, no matter how difficult it was to go against his instincts. The point wasn’t to take advantage of a fragile moment. _Fuck_ – he’d missed her, he still did, even with her right there in his arms. He closed his long fingers in the roots of her hair to better keep the sensitive shell of her ear pressed to his mouth.  
  
“You’re slicking me up so well, dripping wet for me, baby?” A guttural moan left him, as he firmly ground his hips forward into hers, allowing her to feel how hard he was for her, precum already leaking from the slit of his cock. His voice was low and grave as he continued, “You want this huge dick. Are you hungry for me? I want to hear you say it.”  
  
Dirty talk over the phone versus in person was a lot different, apparently. The words bubbled up in her throat, but died when she tried verbalizing them. He laughed when she didn’t answer, tasting a line up her neck with the tip of his tongue, before closing his lips tightly against her skin. The suction itself made her arch in response, lower muscles clenching, making the liquid warmth pooling between her thighs more obvious.  
  
Now she could _hear_ their bodies making contact, the movements becoming even slipperier. The scent between them grew heady, threatening to overwhelm their senses. The wet heat of his tongue made her shudder when the muscle started to trace in strong circles. He placed several bruising marks along her skin, even as she cried out from the pain inflicted by the pull of his teeth.  
  
“Say it or else I’ll stop.” Jaehwan was a man of his word, she knew, but she doubted the threat. He rubbed his lips over the side of her neck, nuzzling closer to her. “My stubborn little princess or not, I am _very_ much into handing out punishments. Don’t misbehave.”  
  
“I’m not,” She whispered, body wound tight from the silky calm of his tone. The rough treatment of his mouth, the cut of his promises – she wanted every bit of it. She closed her eyes, grateful that he wasn’t able to see her face from their angle. “I need to feel you inside me. Please, _please_ Jaehwan.”   
  
“And what if I want to be rough with you? Do you still want it?”  
  
She sucked in a breath, “I’d have to ask you to reconsider.”  
  
He reached over and grabbed the condom from the table, holding it up between them with two fingers, “Put it on me.”  
  
She’d never been in this situation before, not that it was overly complicated, but she couldn’t keep her hands from shaking. The vocalist leaned back to watch her work the latex out of the wrapper. There was a mixture of delight and mockery written on his handsome face, taking in her clumsiness with a hint of perversion. Honestly, he couldn’t help himself.  
  
His lower stomach was soft and firm beneath her touch. As much as she would have liked to make a show of things or at least take the appropriate amount of time to properly worship him, she was feeling rather impatient. She closed her fingers around his cock, pumping him slowly. She looked to the expression on his face, watching his eyes drift closed for a moment, seeming to savor the relief of her strokes.  
  
“Fuck, that feels nice,” he mused, tongue wetting his lips.  
  
Her eyebrows furrowed, trying and failing to get the condom on correctly. It wouldn’t roll down all the way. How could she mess up something so straightforward?  
  
“Wrong way,” Jaehwan whispered, lips curling into a smirk. It was too cute.  
  
Her skin burned hot, completely taken aback, and embarrassed. It took her a moment, but she finally got it – eyes still downcast to anywhere other than the vocalist’s face. He smoothed his hands over her sides, before bringing her closer. She was sitting up again, hands braced on the back of the chair.  
  
He was leveled with her breasts, lips teasing over the sensitive skin there, before he covered his warm mouth around her tightly. She arched her back in response, trembling from the wet suction of his lips and tongue. With a hand stabled roughly on her hip, he moved the other between her thighs, and brushed a single digit against her slick entrance.  
  
He released her breast with a lewd ‘pop’ to stare up into her eyes, levelly, “Lower your hips.” She did as he instructed, sinking herself down until he breached her walls. “Show me how well you can ride me.” He looked to where her body met his middle finger repeatedly, as her muscles clenched around him every time she rocked against him. “That’s it. Good girl.”  
  
He pressed a second knuckle against her, alerting her that he was adding another finger. The delicious stretch of both digits made her ache all the more. She could _hear_ her body take it, drenched, and throbbing around him like a vice. And she wanted to do well, even if the pleasure was near dizzying, and the scenario – embarrassing, she wanted him so badly that it physically hurt.  
  
He turned his attention back to teasing his mouth across her chest, skimming over the sensitive expanse of skin. She gasped at the feel of his hot breath, before he claimed a spot on her collarbone. He worked his tongue in strong circles, imitating the fervent motion of her hips. She reacted on instinct, knowing what to do without having done it before.  
  
A third finger prodded gently and she carefully sank down, limbs trembling from the stretch. Jaehwan’s fingers moved inside her, spreading and expertly curving. His cock wept against his stomach, rock hard, and flushed with color. He was as uncomfortable as she was disoriented, stricken with so much greed and _want_ , equally yearning to become one, and sate the burning in the pit of their stomachs.  
  
She clutched at the back of his neck when her thigh jerked, having felt a spark of pleasure at her core, eliciting small gasps, and whimpers. He was almost reluctant to stop, thumb rubbing over her clit – bringing her past the point of overstimulation, which was painful enough to leave her on the edge, but not send her over. It left her suspended in a state of bliss, completely helpless. Moving her hips did not make the digit running over her swollen cunt go any faster or slower, for that matter.  
  
Was he always in control?    
  
He held her by the hip, fingers digging in hard enough to leave bruises for tomorrow. Well, _good,_ he thought. He rather enjoyed the idea of marking her with lovely hues of dark and bright colors of the like. Her skin was a water palette, bleeding now in mild pinks wherever his short nails or teeth grazed a bit too carelessly.  
  
She stopped moving while in his hold, gasping when he withdrew his fingers, and immediately felt the loss, but also the mess. She leaned forward to capture his bottom lip, breathing harshly against his mouth. The touch of his tongue had her shuddering, moving her own against his in a slow, sensual rhythm. With his fingers still slick with her arousal, he ran them between the cheeks of her ass, getting the area wet and slippery.  
  
He teased the pad of his finger over the tight ring of muscle, gauging her reaction. In his experience, it only added to the pleasure, but not everyone is bound to be fond of it. There was a hitch in her breath, evening out as he deepened the kiss with a tilt of his head. He gathered the slick arousal from her pussy, two fingers curling inside, before going back to her ass.  
  
He didn’t push in a digit, merely applied more pressure, leaving the intention up in the air. Her hips moved on their own accord, wanting more without having the nerve to verbalize it.  
  
“Something you’d like to say?” He asked her, voice low as he taunted her.  
  
“I need you, like, months ago.” She wound her arms tightly around his neck, lips brushing over his own. “I _need_ to feel you. _Please_.”  
  
He pulled her head back by her hair to better stare into her eyes, holding her there with a look of seriousness, “Are you sure this is okay?”  
  
“God, yes, I’m ready. I trust you.”  
  
The vocalist’s mind was foggy, filled with lustful intent. If he’d allowed his dick to take control, she would have been bent over the kitchen table with her face pressed roughly to its surface. The responsibility she’d handed to him put Jaehwan in the position where he had to remain levelheaded. He cared for, even perhaps loved, this girl. But there would be pain, no matter what.  
  
He released her hair to settle his hands on her hips, guiding her forward so that her entrance hovered above his aching cock. She grew still, feeling him hot, and thick against her. It was all a bit familiar, the teasing drag of his dick between her folds. He made a fist around himself, moving up and down from her clit to her opening.  
  
“I need you to do it for me,” She said, eyes falling heavily, as she gave into the pleasure that was melting in her stomach. The warm temperature of the room felt cool across her back, as there was a sheen of sweat already blanketing their skin, more so his, than her own. It made everything burn that much hotter and she decided that yes, _now_. Now was the time.  
  
He leaned in and pressed a firm kiss against her shoulder, lingering there for a moment. It wasn’t until he’d felt her relax wholly into his touch, that he held her still – grip practically bruising into her sensitive skin, before slamming his hips up into her own. His lower half was raised off the chair, breathless – as though the air was knocked from his lungs just from the near suffocating resistance of her body.  
  
Her mouth was parted in a quiet scream, shocked from the sudden intrusion. And although her limbs felt weighted, she knew that she was shaking all over. His hands were on her face, brushing her hair away, raising her chin to look him in the eye. The ache between her legs was a throb then, pulsating like a wound. The pressure that met the snap of Jaehwan’s hips was gone the moment he’d done it, merciful, yet in so many ways, _unforgiving_.  
  
_There was no simpler way_ , he decided. _No better way._ His mouth was soft apologies, falling one after another, until she was left compliant. She parted her lips to allow his tongue to move against her own in languid strokes, not unlike the touch of his hands – moving along her smooth arms. _‘Fragile_ ,’ was a thought that had crept up on him more than a few times, irrevocably his, but so terrifyingly delicate.  
  
And he’d never been much good with handling anything delicate.  
  
“Are you okay?” He searched her eyes through a haze of inward compulsions, dark with the filth that crept at the back of his mind, to take, claim, fuck, and own her. The vocalist smirked when she nodded slowly in response, mocking her with a move of his head. “You feel _so_ good, so fucking good for me, so perfect, and tight.” He pulled her by the front of her throat into another consuming kiss, a groan reverberating against her lips.     
  
She shivered involuntarily, as she leaned into him further, eager to meet each kiss. It quickly turned aggressive with the sharp pull of his teeth and the insistent strokes of his tongue, making her mind go numb. With her arms draped around him, she made an attempt to move – needing to feel more, more, _more_. The freedom was hers to have, however she hadn’t calculated how it would feel to sink back onto his cock. The position she’d chosen had him so fucking deep inside her, she’d practically screamed out when she’d settled down on his lap.  
  
“Let me help you, baby.” It occurred to her that he was enjoying her struggle, despite it being such a momentous occasion, the prick. He placed his hands on the cheeks of her ass, squeezing them roughly, _possessively_. He guided her into a slow rhythm, allowing her time to adjust properly. It didn’t take very long for her hips to start rolling forward on their own, in a way that made both their breaths hitch. Jaehwan was exceptionally louder, which only spurred her on all the more.  
  
The soreness coursing throughout her body dimmed amidst the exertion, although the ache was still very much present, too difficult to ignore. It needed to be soothed. Every thrust inside her tight heat was another lick of gasoline afforded to the fire, sensitive, and burning. Large hands spread her wide and her thighs parted on instinct to give him more – to give him everything. She ground down against him, a slight bounce to the way she moved, heavy breasts following the jolty motion.  
  
It felt like she was being filled with heat (beyond her means) every time he entered her, stretching her out so thin, and pulling her apart piece by piece. It was addicting, the intimate closeness, and the many sensations. The way he maintained eye contact, almost afraid to look away, unsure of what he’d miss, but it would be something he’d regret. That glare he cast her, stripping away her every defense, until she was bare in more ways than one. The stickiness of their sweat slicked skin, the way the air in the room turned hot – all of it suddenly so terrifying to her.  
  
The pace increased with the bite of his nails, digging into the soft flesh of her ass, forcing her into a rhythm that would better suit them both. She cried out softly, hands resting on his forearms as she leaned her head back. Sex had a way of awakening a person and right then, she looked like a goddamn goddess. The tantric roll of her hips, body arched in a mix of pain and bliss, all for him.  
  
And he was so greedy. He’d always been that way.  
  
He leaned forward, tasting the damp skin from the way she was poised, like an offering. It was easy to mark her – bruises coming to form like blossoms wherever his mouth roamed. He flicked an erect nipple with the tip of his tongue, satisfied when she writhed against him helplessly. She raked her fingers along his scalp, pulling at silver strands to connect their mouths for a desperate kiss.  
  
“Please, please…” She whispered, not sure of what she was asking for, but needing it all the same. He kissed her lips briefly, so slow, and tantalizing. For the first time in a long time, Jaehwan felt his entire being tremble, mentally, physically.  
  
He moved his middle finger between the cleft of her ass, teasing at the opening there like before, pushing in a long digit inside – carefully easing all the way down to the knuckle. The mess of her arousal and sweat combined made the intrusion smooth. And fuck, he would be into that, she acknowledged. If it didn’t feel so fucking _good_ , she might’ve minded.  
  
“Rub yourself for me.” He looked between their bodies, watching how well she rode his cock. She was raw and swollen, a sight that made his stomach clench almost painfully. “Show me how you did it while I was gone. When we fucked over the phone…” He felt her tighten around him at his words, eliciting a groan from the back of his throat. “ _Fuck_. C’mon, show me.”  
  
“You’re such a fucking…” She followed his orders regardless, pressing her fingers to her swollen clit, and rubbing in circles. “…pervert. A-Ah…”  
  
“But you listen so _well_ to this pervert,” he gritted out, having to focus on not releasing without having satisfied her first. The finger buried above her cunt moved in and out at the same rhythm as his hips – hard and quick, merciless to an extent. He was overwhelming her, melting her, and feasting upon it selfishly. The sound of him thrusting in was wet and loud, a noise that he specifically sought out to hear on repeat.  
  
He gently nipped at her lips, “You’re going to make me come.” He held her eyes, watching her lashes fall heavily throughout waves of pleasure, complexion flushed – coloring her cheeks and ears with shame. Her body was a dead giveaway to how close she was by how frequently she started to clench around him. “Keep your eyes open and look at me. I want to watch you fall apart.”  
  
He abandoned the hand on her backside to grab at the side of her face, steadying her. The climb of her release started at the tips of her toes. They tingled, moving all the way up into her thighs, moving in closer to where she needed it the most. He struck chords within her, the pleasure spreading to every nerve. One spot in particular had her seeing white, so heavenly, but cliché as hell. He kept rubbing against it in an expert rhythm, until she was careening in bliss.  
  
The scream she’d let out was unheard to her own ears, but she knew she had – could see it in the satisfied expression that gleamed back at her then. She came with a violent shudder, a series of pleasurable chills, and gasps. Her walls fluttered around him like a pulse, clenching, and pulling him dangerously close towards the edge, if it weren’t for his determination. He remained perfectly still, until he felt that it was safe to move them away from the kitchen.  
  
It was with little effort, that he slid his arms around her, and lifted her so that her legs were cradling his waist. She breathed into the side of his neck, still very high up on the moon with numb limbs, and a painfully tight chest. She felt all sorts of things at the moment, crazy, and intense things that she could not properly articulate.  
  
He reached her bedroom and laid her down, tearing the pillow from beneath her head, and tossing it away carelessly. It was easier to pin her arms where he wanted them, above her head, and to the mattress. The pressure of his hand was uncomfortable, but not so much as to cause too much pain, while his other hand guided his cock against her entrance.  
  
He pushed in gently, watching as she curled beneath him, gasping at every inch gained, until he was nestled deep within her – unable to go any further. He smoothed his large hands across her parted thighs, rubbing them soothingly. She was swollen and marked, undeniably his, a fact that would never be untrue, he was sure.  
  
It was one of the only truths that she would know. He bit at the side of his lip, as he leaned more into the grip he had on her wrists, using it as leverage to start rocking in and out of her. He felt her legs hug at his waist in an attempt to cross, the pressure of them trying to pull him in closer if at all possible, and he loved it all the more. He loved how needy and desperate she was to have more of him.  
  
He started pounding into her, the angle better suited, making it easier to ride her up against the mattress. Her breasts heaved with every sharp thrust of his hips and he watched, as though transfixed to the spot where his cock pistoned into her glistening cunt. The sound he made had come from the pit of his stomach, dangerously close, and unhinged.  
  
“So fucking beautiful, just for me,” He said, sparing her a look to meet the somewhat lost, dazed expression on her face. Her eyes were glossed over, mouth parted in pleasure. It felt like her throat had closed, thoughts erased, but she couldn’t stop arching her hips against his own, chasing after her next high.  
  
The vocalist’s mouth hovered above hers, their lips brushing languidly, hit or miss. Small curses and praises left him. He didn’t even have to touch her when she’d come undone beneath him for the second time, arms strained painfully against him. When her body clenched tightly around him, he followed soon after, spilling hard into the condom with a stuttered motion.  
  
He gently released her, inspecting the indents he’d left in her skin, and pressing kisses to the underside of her arms. She winced when he removed himself, as though he’d left her with an opened wound. He was slow in each action, so careful, and attentive. Again, her heart ached for him.  
  
He felt satisfied, lose, and contented.  
  
He removed the condom and tied a knot. “Stay.” When he stood up, he seemed rather pleased with himself. It occurred to her that perhaps Jaehwan had a thing for being naked in general. Then he was making noise from the bathroom, running water, and humming loudly. He returned a few moments later with a wet towel, making work of the mess between her thighs.  
  
“Is the water still running or am I just being ridiculous?”    
  
“You’re definitely ridiculous, but yes, I’m running you a bath.” He dropped the towel into her hamper, before casually scooping her up, once again proving her weight to be nothing while in his arms. “And although I would love to join you, I have to run to the broadcasting company or else Hakyeon hyung will give me a verbal ass kicking.”  
  
He brought her into the bathroom. Honestly, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a bath. She never had any time for them. The shower was always quicker. He placed her down, hearing her gasp from the unexpected temperature and the way it spread over her sore muscles. He was reluctant to let her go, bringing a hand up to the side of her face.  
  
“Well, you’ve taken the last of my innocence, I suppose.” She said, being cheeky even now, as she leaned towards the edge of the tub, pressing further into the palm of his hand.  
  
“Innocence isn’t lost,” He replied, dramatically, as he thumbed over her cheek. “No matter how much I’ll dirty you, your innocence will remain intact. I think that I’ve always felt this way about you.” He leaned in, stealing a long drag of her lips. He savored the taste of her on his mouth, humming contentedly.  
  
“What time should I expect you later?”  
  
“Late, since we have a fan meeting afterwards.” He kissed the top of her head, before pulling himself away completely to retrieve his clothing from the kitchen floor. Getting dressed was a mournful process for him then.  
  
She called to him from the bathroom. “I lock my doors these days, Jaehwan.”  
  
He returned a few minutes later, standing in the doorway, and staring far too hard for way too long. She could practically feel his eyes wherever they roamed along her bare skin.  
  
She brought her knees up to her chest, “Excuse you.”  
  
“Me? You’re the one trying to shame me for admiring what is now mine. Can you remember this fact or are you in need of some reminding? We could start all over again, from the very beginning?” The vocalist concluded his statement with a signature wink. It was the kind of aegyo bullshit that seemed to ensnare practically everyone in its path. “You don’t mind if I steal your key, do you?”  
  
“I think you should steal it and then make a copy.” Bold, but long overdue.  
  
He considered it with a nod. “I’ll have one made up.”  
  
She smiled, although short lived, and somewhat shyly. It didn’t go unnoticed. “Good.”  
  
“Good,” he repeated, words and tension weighted, before he was gone. It wasn’t until she heard the front door shut, that she melted back into the warmth of the tub. Their puppy padded its way into her bathroom and plopped its small tummy on the cool tiles.  
  
_Good.  
_

* * *

_Finished  
  
_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'd like to thank you all for reading my story! 
> 
> My next story is going to be co-written with my friend, bunneh_teef_70. It's going to involve VIXX, BTOB, a sneeze of GOT7, and Monsta X. Please subscribe, so that you can be alerted when the first chapter is up!


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